[1/27/14- while listening to John Reuben’s I Pictured It]
Lonely god. A phrase I thought of a week ago. How truly sad it is, this creator god who creates children to love him, but instead even the best of us confine him to increments of our time disproportionate to our other affections. What a shame that I truly care more for his children than I do him, the very one by whom I exist. I’m scared to lift my hands in praise to him because I care more about what my brothers and sisters think, than what my father thinks. He gets excited when an opportunity arises for us to talk about him, to mention him like we would a lover. But when we think he’s not looking we change subjects or imply that we don’t even know him. And his smile becomes a frown as he turns his head and leaves before we see him and realize he overheard us. And I feel this god crying out in the wilderness, saying, Why won’t anyone come live with me? Why only brief visits? Is it the way I look? Or is it because we don’t have anything in common? Nothing to talk about? But oh, my child! Don’t you have more in common with me than anyone else? Shouldn’t you have more to talk about with me than anyone else? You are made from my own genes.
What would happen if we went to live with this god? And got his advice and encouragement all day? Ran to him when we were injured or rejected, knowing he would only run to us, embrace us in love and cry with us. And there, resting in between his shoulders, we could feel his heartbeat. [Deuteronomy 33:12]
People are actually dying around us and yet we are still too afraid to just trust God, to just praise Him as much as we know how, and let him come to us and supernaturally change things, for the best of our own lives and ultimately everyone we are connected to. People are on the verge of dying and will one day not be able anymore to feel the effects of the reckless faith we could have had. And God cries out to us: Why won’t you just trust me?! What have I ever done to you that you would doubt me like this?
O Moses! What did you find out there in the wilderness?
O David! What did you find out there in the wilderness?
O Jesus! What did you find out there in the wilderness?