Realizations

Philosophy in the Middle of the Desert

Crisis Philosophy October 28, 2014

[as originally typed up on my iphone from 4:30-6am, 101714, after waking from a nightmare, terrified by the disgusting abominations I saw and felt, as if they were really happening]

 

The disgusting, demonic nightmare:
The old, placid doctor talked to his assistant (a pretty, young blonde in a labcoat), as if another routine day on the job:
“Yes, my dear. We’re going to rape you and burn you and chop you up and freeze you.”
The young lady was standing very routinely, but with a sudden look of surprise and confusion. Then two men came up from behind and grabbed her, put her down on the ground, and put a large ice bag on her neck.  She screamed as they started chopping her ankles with a butcher’s knife. But the scene cut right before the blade touched her flesh. And I thought, well that’s a relief the scene was cut, otherwise it would have been inappropriate.
Then I was on a bus and this same scene was playing as a movie on a screen. I was watching it again with the other people on the bus and when it got to the point of chopping her ankles I knew the camera would stop again just in time before the blade cut, otherwise it would have been inappropriate for a public place like that. But there was sitting in front of me a pretty young blonde, similar to the young nurse in the movie, and she turned her head away right before the chop, in horror, unable to watch anymore. Then the movie showed the nurse’s head on the ground next to the opaque freezer box which contained her chopped up body. And that’s when I woke up, full of terror and overcome with disgust at the darkness of that movie. And yet I already said in the dream that “at least it wasn’t inappropriate”, though that same “appropriate” movie caused the girl in front of me to turn in disgust, and was enough for me to wake me up in a terrified panic. What symbolism there is all throughout this dream!

And, as only a dream can do, my mind and heart were suddenly opened, and I could feel the fear and pain that blonde nurse experienced, and all my first world problems vanished. I realized that intense human suffering like that was going on right now in the world; it didn’t end with the Holocaust. And being in that fatal doctor’s office with that nurse, I felt her panicked desperation as she thought “Surely there is someone who can save me! Surely there is someone coming for me, or at least working or fighting to get here and rescue me!”

 

Then this dialog played in my mind while I was recovering from the dream.
Old European gentleman: “Oh come now. Eat. Drink!  Be merry. There is much to do, but there is also a time to enjoy life!”
Neo: “No. You don’t get it. You don’t realize how evil evil is. If you did you wouldn’t be able to put that food down. You would be staying up all night thinking and working to save these innocent people right now. The hand is cancerous and its spreading faster than a venom, but because of the remaining good in it we ignore the bad for a little bit longer, hoping it will get better… Hoping until it’s too late.”
Gentleman: “You can’t just throw away the good with the bad, the baby with the bath water!”
Neo: “But I say, yes!  Throw it out!  Better to enter life with one hand than to burn in hell with both.  The thing that’s keeping this kind of evil active is humanity’s existence. As long as we’re still around there will be immense suffering, because there will always be demons to put evil emotions and ideas in our hearts, and just enough lazy, complacent good people to keep the world good enough, and not altogether bad enough to cut off. Good enough people are the problem. It’s the hardworking man in Iowa who works an honest job and comes back to a wholesome meal with his family and settles in for a night in front of the tv. This is the problem. This is what’s allowing more time for the evil in the world to go on betraying and cheating and lying and piercing and burning. This is what’s keeping the stew just lukewarm enough to not be thrown out.  Oh, you don’t understand the evil that exists!”

God, destroy this Sodom even though there be 10 righteous in it!

 

I think about the horrible, utterly disgusting depravity of this world with its inhuman media, making movies like Human Centipede. Not only are people given opportunities and incentives to let their minds wander to such dark corners, inspired by the dark boundaries surpassed by those before them, but then they invest time and money to not only make their evil imaginations visible, but to put them in other people’s heads, into the minds of people that might not ever think of these evil things otherwise. Such is the cancer of pornography and MTV and Hollywood, who makes inescapable commercials that are literally filled with the same scenes that made movies in the 60’s rates R, and in the 50’s rated X.  And yet most Americans think this is … Wait for it… GOOD!!!  We have been so numbed to the evils of pornography that we have also been numbed to the good of innocence and virginity. Numbed to how good it is seeing a young woman as a soul, created in the image of God, and the beautiful work of art she is within, and thus is our desire to protect her from pain and devaluing numbed. The hardworking family man in Iowa is doing nothing to stop this genocide, but instead embraces it, even if only subtly, and subjects his family to it as acceptable prime time tv!  He is the problem. He is in the way of justice and mercy. He is no better than the passive Germans who kept living everyday life when there was a concentration camp in their backyard. Oh that you were hot or cold, holy or evil, but you are lukewarm, and even though you are not altogether bad you will be thrown out, and cause the rest of us to be thrown out with you.

 

When we were children our eyes were still open to see the gravity of evil and it could make us vomit, but today we have been so numbed to how great this evil is, that instead of vomiting out the poison we laugh at it, ingest it, spread it, and it kills us all. America could very well be the most wicked nation on Earth, for we are a Great Whore seeking out nations to invite to drink our cup of adultery, and so make them guilty also. And as if our rated R movies and pornography and sex slavery wasn’t bad enough, what’s even worse than all of that is that we stamp “In God We Trust” on it. I assure you God doesn’t take that blasphemy lightly.

 

Right now, somewhere in the world, someone is being tortured just as bad as the horrors of the Nazis and their Holocaust.  Like what’s going on in Iraq at the hands of ISIS right now.
If I live a good, comfortable life but someone else is living in Hell as we speak, then may both our lives be snuffed if it stops their suffering; for pain is more tangible than joy. Until then let us fight this horror with whatever time and energy we have left.
I pray God would have mercy on us, as in the days of Noah, and wipe us all out for the sake of the suffering that we have allowed to become this unimaginably horrible. I don’t care about justice, all I care about is ending the pain. With people going through this kind of intense pain right now, how can we do anything but be constantly working to rescue them? I mean, we’re in a state of emergency crisis! Put on hold your job, your marriage, your parenthood! Don’t you dare waste any more time on entertainment and recreation when you could always be doing something to help in the fight against the suffering of the innocent. I know you’d wish people would give up entertainment to fight for you if you were in that kind of pain. If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.
Better to err on the side of righteousness and holiness than on the side of blasphemy, apathy, laziness, lust, and violence.

 

———————–

The next morning I knew I had to do something. And while I’m limited at helping to fight the genocide of ISIS (you can support Voice of the Martyrs as they are actively helping those victims), I knew that there were plenty of horrors happening in my own backyard, and so I signed up to volunteer myself (not just my money) with End Slavery TN. Even if all I can help with right now is sorting papers or doing data entry or writing essays, I’m at least part of the solution to bring relief to the suffering. Even if I can do nothing more than menial tasks right now, so that more active people in the organization aren’t tied down doing them, then I will allow more time/energy/attention to be directed to help the suffering.  In whatever we do, we need to live like we’re really in a state of emergency crisis, because we are.

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Mortal Ghost April 1, 2013

I am a ghost. Floating above the world, looking down, looking through.

I have been unplugged from the Matrix. Freed from Plato’s cave. Broken from the earthen chains of gravity.

You think you see me, but you don’t really see Me.  For you see but an apparition, a physical manifestation  of the spiritual within.

I am no longer able to stop and smell the roses, for I cannot see the roses. Whereas the world stops and sniffs the roses because it cannot see the suffering around them.

I am a prophet, a mortal ghost, living on another plane of existence.

Sometimes it is lonely being a ghost, but I know it is lonelier not being one.
Sometimes it is lonely drifting through this carnal world, but lonely freedom is better than communal slavery.

I wander the earth looking for others who have died to this world, yet live within it.

//

 

Living Sacrifices November 9, 2011

[This and the following Living Sacrifices parts written from 61511 – 112511]


Genesis 1:27
– God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created them. “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. But then man sinned against God and God left the Earth. The Earth, now separated from its creator’s direct presence, became cursed. Instead of being “very good” it became imperfect, and then bad, and then very bad. Yet some men still tried to take up their calling and fulfill their purpose of worshiping God, taking care of the Earth, and living the life God created them to live (fulfilling their good human desires and thus taking part in God’s pleasure of creation and life). And in those simple times it was enough to satisfy God. Good men lived good lives and were blessed in life. Bad men lived bad lives and eventually died, and that was it. But it still wasn’t like God intended it, and so God sought to restore his relationship with man (the main point of the creation).

Acts 17:30:Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, 31 because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead.”

So it was that God made the Old World with its Old Covenant to pass away and he introduced a New Covenant which ushered in a New Age. But this new age wasn’t a new world, but rather simply a preparation for the New World, in which Shalom (perfect earthly harmony) would be restored to Earth and God would once again live alongside man as originally intended. As the old age was ushered in with God himself on earth walking alongside man, so was the new age instated with God himself walking alongside man, except this time God came to Earth in the form of a man, whom the world knows today as Jesus. And Jesus changed everything.

Whereas in the beginning God said, Enjoy life to the fullest, now he said, Live for a transcendent cause beyond this life, sacrificing your life for the sake of others. Before he said, Be fruitful and multiply, now he was saying, Take in the widows and orphans, and if anyone can remain single he should, for the end is near.

He said before “Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward. Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works.” (Ecc. 5:18 & 9:7)

Now he gave man a divine mission saying, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. 16 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned.” (Mark 16:15)

Instead of Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die, it was “They will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.(Matt 24:9).

Jesus turned everything upside down in this new age, and his followers followed suit. His disciples actually acted like the end was near: quitting their jobs, leaving their families behind to follow Jesus to the ends of the earth preaching the Gospel.  Even the ones who weren’t traveling sold their possessions so as to use everything in their power to prepare the world for the end. All their time, all their talents, and all their treasure. Aka the exact opposite of the American Dream, which more or less reverts back to a Christianized Old World mentality of “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die and go to Heaven.”

Christianity was a radical, revolutionary philosophy and way of life. It wasn’t acceptable to society back then and it isn’t acceptable in our modern-American church society either. The New Testament I read implies we should all surrender everything we have to live as living sacrifices, sacrificing everything we have to speed the Great Commission and hasten Christ’s return. Keep nothing for ourselves except that which equips our ministry, use the rest of our money to fund other ministries. Recognize that God owns everything, so everything that we have is only what God has chosen to loan us–talents he will one day come to collect, expecting at least interest. (Matt 25)

I haven’t taken a vow of poverty, mainly because Christ advised us not to make vows, but it is my conviction to live a life of “moderate poverty.” I still have a car and a computer and spend money on things that work towards my calling, but that’s it. I feel that as Christians we have no place to spend our money on anything that goes beyond necessity. Absolutely no vanities. Cut out expensive vacations, nice jewelry (including engagement rings), movies, cable, music, and restaurants from your budget.  Of course some times going out is almost as cheap as buying something at the store and making it at home(and more conducive to your schedule); and sometimes (such as when travelling) you don’t have means of cooking.  Restaurants are especially hard to avoid because people assume everyone goes out to eat and so I’m always invited to restaurants, which gets awkward constantly declining and you don’t want to disrespect people or miss out on opportunities to “fellowship in the gospel” with them.  So my rule is that I don’t go out to eat unless it’s really cheap (like $2), it’s my only option, or it’s for a special occasion (which includes evangelistic opportunities).  I would even go so far as to not invest much in retirement, since it’s a gamble anyways, because you could die tomorrow (unless of course you could designate your unused retirement funds to a ministry).
Of course there’s no way to make it all cut and dry because there are gray areas. Such as when it seems I “need” something to make my ministry as effective as possible– in my case I feel called to reach people through music (which can be more expensive the more effective you want it to be). But the bottom line is that as Christians we cannot afford the time or money to have lives of vanity.  Even when it comes to our necessities we shouldn’t indulge in luxurious necessities. We need food to survive, but we don’t need the best-tasting food to survive. I challenge people to buy generic brands of everything. It will never be as good as the real thing, but that’s the price you pay for being a Christian (an incomparably smaller price than what God payed for you). I’ve heard it said that it’s not how much you spend that counts, but how much you have left.  In the story of the poor widow’s offering, Jesus said her last 2 pennies were more than all the other donations combined.  (Mark 12:41)

How much money would you give to save someone’s soul from Hell?

$1,000?  $1,000,000?  The answer should be, of course, “All of it.”  Well, believe it or not, this option actually exists.  You can pay to save souls by funding missionary work and child sponsorship, which presents the gospel in the most persuasive of ways and will inevitably save souls. So how much of your salary should you give towards the Great Commission? All of it.  That’s not to say you give away all your money and have to dig through the dumpsters (that you live in) to find food. The healthier you are mentally and physically the more effective you are in The Great Commission, and the more effective you are at making money which can fund The Great Commission. Your specific calling will determine how healthy you should be or how much effort you put into your job, so as to not hinder The Great Commission by being too healthy or too hard of a worker.

Do not waste any of your time. Even in obeying the sabbath to rest don’t waste your time. Rest by reading literature to strengthen your spirit and meditation to stay close to God and hear from Him. If you’re too tired to read or pray then sleep or rest to get as much rest as you possibly can so that you’ll have all the more energy during the week to be active every day, draining your life and pouring it out as a drink offering. Do not watch TV for the purpose of being entertained only; only watch TV if it is spiritually-edifying somehow. If you desire entertainment then be entertained in a spiritually edifying way, aka fellowship with other believers in godly community, encouraging and sharpening them. Laugh at the things God would laugh at and let the joy and love of Christ which comes from fellowship of believers abound, which is greater recreation than any pop culture. Otherwise what good is entertainment or recreation if it doesn’t help progress God’s will?  It is just a waste of time that could better be used fulfilling the Great Commission, even if it’s incrementally. If you find spiritually-edifying recreation to not be entertaining then you need to change. Your senses have been so numbed by their over-stimulation from this over-indulgent society that you can’t even enjoy the basic pleasures of life, you can’t enjoy the things that were created to please you.

When you’re on your death bed, what will you wish that you had done with your life?

The way I see it is like this: Every single thing that you do in your life will affect the ultimate number of souls who go to Heaven or Hell. Through a spiritual butterfly effect something as simple as a disgruntled comment to a stranger you’ll never see again (who at least assumes you are a Christian) can turn that stranger against Christ by giving them a bad impression of Christians in general and thus Christianity, so that they are more likely to avoid it altogether. Their impression creates a subconscious instinct that guards them from being offended again.  Once they are hardened against it, they go on living their life subconsciously discerning reality around them, but now they lean towards anti-christ explanations and are progressively built-up to explain away Christ. Oh, that not one person would go to Hell because of us!

Therefore, every single thing that you do needs to filter through Christianity. From the first thing you do in the morning to the last thing you do at night. From the way you dress, the way you communicate, how you make money, who you associate with, etc. If you’re too tired, get more sleep. If you don’t have enough time/talent/treasure then cut out the things in your schedule getting in their way and put new things in your schedule that increase your time/talent/treasure for the ministry. If you’re not good at speaking then work on what you are good at. If you’re ignorant on apologetics, learn them now. Stop reading this and go learn it so that you can “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” (Peter 3:15) And set up barriers in your life to prevent “the cares of this world” from stealing away your time/talent/treasure.

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.” (1 Cor. 7:29)

 

Living Sacrifices: Celibacy, pt. 1 – Paul’s Reasons for Celibacy/Marriage?

THE LOGIC BEHIND CELIBACY

*My main goal behind writing a persuasive argument in favor of celibacy is most pointedly (and most realistically) to simply open the average Christian’s mind to the option of celibacy for their consideration. And by using the 2 things we already trust in (divine revelation and logic) to support that option I hope to prove that it’s actually not radical or weird. Not to brainwash you with propaganda so as to join my ranks, but to show you what the Bible has clearly stated about it for 2000 years. Not to encourage you to join some kind of faith-based cult by tugging on your hearts, but to let you see that celibacy in general resonates with our innate sense of logic, so as to seem even more logical than marriage.*

Persecution
I’ve heard it argued that Paul was specifically talking about his era when referring to staying single because of how extreme the “present distress” was (1 Cor 7:26). But at the time Paul wrote that the persecution hadn’t even reached the peak it would in later years. And if he referred to the future, then was he only referring to until the 4th century when Christianity stopped being persecuted in the Roman Empire? Is that when Christians started marrying suddenly? So now that we’re not living in “present distress” in our country is it suddenly okay to live carefree lives, marrying and living comfortably in our pursuit of happiness like in the Old Covenant? Those early centuries of persecution were no doubt terrible, but were they anymore extreme than the persecution still going on right now in the world?

I wonder if the fact that we’re not personally being persecuted means we’re not living like we’re supposed to. How can we justify living a life of leisure when our brothers in the world are STILL living in persecution like the early church? Shouldn’t we forsake the excess resources which afford us a luxurious lifestyle to turn our lives and resources toward the alleviation of current persecution? If we did this we would feel the effects of persecution personally.

But really what does persecution have to do with celibacy anyways? I suppose it’s because a wife could do more harm than good in a persecution-inclined culture where your responsibility as a husband could collide with your responsibility to the ministry– as portrayed in the following joke:

What do you call a missionary’s wife in the 10/40 window? A bargaining chip.

My point is just that the logic behind celibacy goes far beyond persecution. Are the people right now who are being persecuted like the early church called to celibacy more than we? No, I think the point of Paul advocating celibacy is because the end is near. We don’t know when it is and so we need to live as if the end is tomorrow. And if the world’s ending tomorrow why would we get married, and especially have kids? Is that what Jesus advised us to do? No, just the opposite! He actually spoke woes to them that do, as he said in Matt. 24:19: “But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!” He doesn’t encourage people to keep living life like it’s always been, but instead to stop and prepare for the end. “Yeah, but people have thought it’s the end for thousands of years.” Wow, do you so quickly take the side of those “mockers in the last days” who say “Where is this second coming?” It’s that conviction of the end being nigh which continues to push the gospel ever forward despite the dangers.  Without that we wouldn’t have even gotten this far.

For “…they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be.” –Matthew 24:38-39

Lack of Self-Control
Personally speaking, most of the time I don’t struggle with lust and romantic longing, but occasionally I do.  And in those times I‘m shaken to my core, to the point I would consider throwing away all my commitments, calling, and logic for companionship.  For what’s the point of celibacy if you’re too depressed to be productive–which was the whole point of being celibate?  Those times when I have given in to romance are easily the worst parts of my whole life; nearly all the valleys in my life’s vicissitudes are the direct result of romantic deprivation.  But it’s important to note that these valleys almost exclusively come after being around women which arouse a desire in me which I don’t want to fulfill.  It’s not being by myself that makes me lonely; it’s the angst of being without something I suddenly desire that so greatly depresses me.  I think if I were distanced from women (and romantic allurement) and had friends/family with me to keep me from loneliness (through accountability/fellowship) I would still struggle just like everybody does (priests, monks, apostles), but not enough to consider marriage as my calling.

You may think, “If he were really called to celibacy then he wouldn’t struggle with it.”  But doesn’t everybody struggle with it?  Isn’t that the way we were originally designed so as to populate the Earth?  All I know is if the Bible says Jesus was tempted in every way then surely he was tempted by the most tempting of human desires (romance and sex).  And if Jesus was tempted, of course a mere mortal like Paul would be, too.  I don’t see why Paul’s thorn in the flesh wouldn’t have been something like the temptation of those intense romantic or sexual passions he fought against yet still couldn’t shake.  I know during my past (and current) crushes I’ve begged God more than 3 times to take it away (to no avail I might add).  And yet Paul’s own romantic and sexual temptations weren’t enough to persuade him toward advocating marriage; it was in spite of them that he encouraged celibacy. Paul and the prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 16) are the only people in Scripture I can think of whose call to celibacy was clearly, biblically-ordained, and yet if even Paul (the main advocate of celibacy) struggled against those temptations then why wouldn’t we also (who would be blessed to become even half of what Paul was)?  The struggle isn’t a clear indicator of your calling.

Is molestation at the hands of priests a sign that God never intended people to be celibate?  I don’t think so.  Maybe it’s a sign that we weren’t intended to make vows of lifelong celibacy.  Because it would have been better for those men to have been married all along than to be set apart to God only to end up burning with passion anyway and that passion being forced to manifest itself through a perverted outlet.  I think it’s these situations Paul is referring to in 1 Corinthians 7:9 which justify marriage.

You get the impression from reading that passage that the only thing Paul considers worthy to justify a marriage is lack of self-control (as if you would inevitably sin more without marriage to legalize your lustful thoughts and actions).  But is he justifying the lack of self control itself?  Isn’t this just a cop-out for sin?
“I have the choice between surrendering every area of my life to Christ’s discipline or giving in to my lust by justifying it with marriage?… That’s a no-brainer!”
That’s kind of like justifying your gambling problem because you donate the money you get to missions.  You don’t do anything to fix your self-control problem, but just get married only to find out later that your burning passions are too large to be righteously satisfied in marriage, and now you’re tempted by sins worse than the fornication you were tempted with before marriage.  Marriage won’t cure a lustful heart.

I used to think (as most men do) that living a lust-free life is not possible, it’s just part of a man’s daily life.  And I freely confess that I still struggle against my day dreams and wandering eyes (sometimes giving in), but I also confess that I know what it’s like to be broken free from the bondage of lust, and it’s so much better than any temporary ecstasy that has such addictive baggage.  I can only speak for myself, but God in his amazing grace allows me to break free from lust and then sustains me for extended periods of time (see my essay, “How To Overcome Lust“).  In those anti-lust streaks I don’t mean that I simply refrained from having sex or making out or looking at porn or masturbating, what I mean is I never even entertained a lustful temptation in my head!  I’m hesitant to even share that lest I be judged as being prideful, or lest people say “That’s a clear sign you’re called to celibacy; as for me I could never do that so I must not be.”  But I share that for the sake of telling you firsthand from experience that, in a society where Christians don’t really think it’s possible not to lust, it IS possible, and I don’t think escaping the sin of lust should be anyone’s determining reason for getting married. Sex will fade, and then what’s left in your marriage if that’s the main thing that brought you two together?

Lust is what keeps us on the same level as animals, and keeps us from being on the same level as angels.

And so people say, well, I struggle with lust so I must be called to marriage.  But Paul’s not saying marriage is for people who simply struggle with lust, but rather people who can’t control themselves enough to not have sex and commit fornication.  It’s better to be married than to sin by having sex outside of marriage.  This justification is for the people who know their extreme tendencies and are smart enough to recognize their weaknesses and beat them to it. Though I think a sex-based marriage will always be less successful than a ministry-based marriage of people who developed self-control before getting married.

 

Living Sacrifices: Celibacy, pt. 3 – Against Procreation

Filed under: Celibacy — milesprowers @ 10:05 pm
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Reproduction: Sin of Omission
Even in the times when I’m tempted by marriage it always inevitably comes back to the same wall, which is procreation. Some people are against birth control because it’s unnatural, goes against God’s purpose of sex (“spilling the seed” so to speak), or if nothing else because it’s been proven to cause abortions by accidentally killing the embryo after conception, just a tad too late. However, the reason I’m against it is because it’s not 100% effective. There’s still a slight chance life could be conceived. I feel strongly that to have a baby is the sin of omission. In other words, in a world like ours where over 2/3 the world is on their way to Hell, how can we leave all those innocent, dying children out in the cold by bringing in new children? Brand new souls who will never know starvation, or likely damnation, to lavish on them all the love, support, and basic needs we could’ve given to the ones already here and already without it, the ones who likely won’t ever get it. And the reason they won’t get it is mainly because of us keeping it from them.

It’s not just giving to the needy, it’s giving the opportunity of salvation to those on their way to Hell (who are dying faster than Americans, by the way); it’s the Great Commission. So what, instead we give our amazing gift of Christian parenthood to souls we make from scratch, who otherwise wouldn’t exist to go to Hell? What is so beneficial and selfless so as to entice people to have babies? Desires to live a life that’s physically and emotionally fulfilling in every way? Experiencing the joys of sex? Pregnancy? Parenthood? Passing on good genes? Legacy?  The only things I can think of are not selfless– they’re selfish. It’s all about you. It’s not even about the baby.

Q: “What about raising a godly family to impact the degrading society?”
But is that even a truly noble goal? Of course saving people from a life of starvation, oppression, and spiritual blindness is among the noblest of endeavors, but raising a family itself? Perhaps the end result is noble, but nothing in the means of getting there. And the end result is still less noble than other options. Godly parenthood is so time-consuming that you might as well be living a life of solitude in your homey comfort-zone, away from the world outside that threatens the safety of your family. Again, a huge temptation- as in the temptation to protect your children from evil and danger (as is your responsibility as a parent). But at the expense of actually being a light out in the world, so that you and your godly family are absent from the world, making it just as well that you and your godly family weren’t godly at all or even in the world in the first place. It’s kind of extreme, but I wonder if parents rightly trying to fulfill their responsibility of being a good parent end up being so consumed by it that they themselves are made almost useless for ministry themselves. Almost as if they’re hiding from ministry behind their children saying, “Well, it’s too late for me. I’m too overwhelmed to minister now, but I’m raising up godly children who will be able to do what I couldn’t.” Putting off their own responsibility of ministry on someone else, as if expecting their kids to make the sacrifices they weren’t willing to make.
[Of course that argument breaks down somewhat because a father still spends his time being a light at his job, may actually be full-time in the ministry, and does have some free time to minister, especially when his kids are older and out of the house. Still it’s an interesting point worth noting, and I do think there is truth to it.]
A: What could make more of an impact and be a testimony of Christianity than adoption.

I can’t think of a single good reason to have your own children instead of adopting.  You don’t know that that soul you’re bringing into existence will be saved, and if that soul you brought into eternity is damned for eternity it will be better if it had never been born.  If you want to raise up a godly legacy and leave behind salt in the world why not raise up the souls who are already in existence, already in eternity and soon to be judged, and who will go to Hell if you don’t adopt them?

“But adoption is so expensive!”
Then adopt from America.
I mean, in the U.S. they pay you to adopt! As is the case with being a foster parent. American adoption is less ideal because American orphans have infinite more resources and opportunities for life and salvation than 3rd world orphans, but there’s still a desperate need.  American orphans and foster kids are more likely to live broken adult lives after having broken childhoods, thus multiplying the slippery slope in America.  If you really wanted to “impact the degrading society” wouldn’t you try to fix it yourself instead of just leaving behind salt to take care of it?  Society is degrading at an exponential rate because the people who are degrading it are also having all these kids who will do the same (just in greater numbers now), and so on.  If you really cared so much about America then why wouldn’t you step in and stop the cycle?
Jesus never said be fruitful and multiply. No, he said take care of the widows and orphans for the end is near.

Here’s my question:
What good for society and the Great Commission does romance and sex produce?

I’m not against marriage, in fact I think that the greatest defense for marriage is the prospect of adoption (which wouldn’t be nearly as effective outside of marriage). But I am against procreation, and thus against sex. What greater temptation to have sex is there than marriage? Where suddenly satisfying your God-given desires and experiencing the single greatest physical euphoria of your life is not only legal, but encouraged. Of course I guess you don’t actually have to have sexual intercourse to satisfy your sexual desires, which is how it’d be with my marriage. But who would be up for that? I mean, sure, give up going out to eat, but SEX?!?!

To be married is to sleep in the same bed which is to inevitably have sex sub-consciously.  So if you don’t plan on having sex and thus don’t take birth control then you can’t sleep in the same bed or you’ll accidentally have sex while not fully awake, when you aren’t conscious enough to choose to restrict your body’s primal instinct.  So what are you going to do, be married yet sleep in separate beds or rooms?  I say there’s no point in even being married, you should just be engaged for life.  “This is my fiancee with a ring on her finger; she’s off limits.” And that’s it. (…a cheap ring of course.  ;))

Having such ideals as these make it seem marriage is not God’s will for me, or others with whom this essay resonates in their souls, and thus why torment yourself longing for the perfect mate that fits all of these requirements when it’s inconceivable aside from God’s sovereignty? Rather we are called to be content in our lives of sacrifice and obedience, longing for the Spirit alone, and if it’s God’s will to confound the improbability of a soul mate then it’s up to Him and He will do it in His time by His means, one way or another. I mean, it’s not like we’re celibates for ourselves, in spite of God’s real calling that we’re denying.  If we are celibate for ourselves, then we are in sin.

We are the ones who will discontinue our surnames, the dead ends of the family tree.

Nor let the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” 4 For thus says the LORD, “To the eunuchs who keep My sabbaths, And choose what pleases Me, And hold fast My covenant, 5 To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial, And a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name which will not be cut off.”  Isaiah 56:3

The Great Commission vs. The Great Omission
What is the sin of omission? It’s the sin of not doing something you were supposed to. In that sense, not feeding the starving keeps them starving. Not saving someone who is dying is murder. If you can’t afford foreign adoption but can afford reproduction/procreation then why not give that money to sponsor a child who needs it more?  Through Compassion International and other ministries you can pay to have a child get fed, clothed and shown love and the Gospel in a 3rd world country where they might not have any of those things otherwise. Why waste the resources they need by making a new soul? Why keep them out in the cold, starving, just so you can create a little you? The ultimate selfishness. Don’t you know that these people will either live or die by your choice to aid them or not?  When these people live on a dollar a day, you have the choice of going out to eat tonight or letting 10 people live another day, who will die if you don’t. That puts everything into perspective. Shouldn’t that be our whole life’s perspective? Sponsor 3 children for the price of your one hypothetical American, Christian one.

Let’s be liberal for a moment and assume that there are 50 million Christian couples in America right now. If each of those American couples adopted or even just sponsored one foreign child that would be 50 million people taken out of their dark, hopeless fate. If they each adopted 2 children that would be 100 million souls removed from the road to Hell and raised on the road to Heaven, with abounding opportunities for salvation and the personal examples to make those opportunities extremely persuasive. And it doesn’t just have to be Americans that adopt.

It’s a little haunting to note that of all the things God could teach man during his time on earth, one of the main things he stressed was the necessity of helping “the least of these.” His emphasis on this in Matthew 25 was so stern that he warned those who neglected this duty as being in danger of Hell.

//

 

How To Overcome Lust November 8, 2011

Filed under: Celibacy — milesprowers @ 10:37 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

[Written especially on 8178, 62511, 112311 as stemming from Living Sacrifices: Celibacy, pt. 1, and finishing additions on 224-2513]

*DISCLAIMER: The following essay is a completely honest look at how lust operates and how to overcome it, thus awkward, graphic, personal details are mentioned in exchange for helping people to break free.  It is written with an audience of single men in mind. I guess I picked now to finish this essay because I happen to be going through a lust-free time of my life and I feel less hypocritical posting it.*

  • Definition of lust: An extreme, excessive, indulgent desire for something.
  • My definition of lust: desiring that which you should not, will not, or cannot have.

Why is lust wrong?

1st because it makes you to suffer, as you are in agony desiring something which you cannot, or will not, or should not have.  Lust is similar to coveting and both are wrong for the same reasons.
2nd because it distracts you, divides your mind so that you can’t focus on God, life, etc.  It divides/distracts your heart so that you don’t have as much passion to do the things you are supposed to do, because you have passion for something else besides your calling (what you’re supposed to be doing) also.  Divided passions.  So that when you do what you’re called to do, your heart isn’t completely in it to make the best product, your mind isn’t completely in it to make it the best product (through analyzing how to make it really best).  You have 2 passions: one is fulfilled partially by completing a watered-down version of your calling; and the other one (the lust) isn’t fulfilled at all.  So what’s the point?
3rd because it’s pointless.  You desire something you cannot have so you never get it, you just waste your time and passion wanting it for the sake of wanting it.  There’s no point in entertaining your desires for something if you will not or should not ever get it.  Why not desire something you can have now and work to get it so that your desire is satisfied?  Think about something that will produce something to benefit God and others.
4th because it cannot be satisfied.  Lust is desiring something you cannot have.  So if you desire the unattainable your desire will never be satisfied because it will never be attained.  The more you think about it, the more you will want it and the more you will think about it.  The more you entertain it, the more you think about it and want it, so that it’s all the harder to suppress, all the harder to break free from, all the harder to regain complete focus (possibly ever again) or any focus at all.  All the harder to fulfill your calling as best you can, if at all.
5th because it makes you defenseless to temptation.  Desiring evil makes you more likely to actually do the evil which you desire, and if you do ever get what you desire, then you screwed up and have sinned.  Because the only reason what you’re doing is considered lust is because you are desiring something you should not (whether it is impossible, unprofitable, or abominable).  No one desires something simply for desiring it and then leaves it alone.  If I entertain fantasies of lust in my mind, that same state of mind exists in the real world so that my eyes look the same places they do in my mind, when given the opportunities to.  And if my desires make me, in my thoughts, do things I shouldn’t, when Evil presents those opportunities in reality I will be all the more likely to give in to those same temptations I already gave into in my mind.  I’m at least more likely than if I already resisted those temptations in my mind and have set my mind against entertaining those thoughts and the actions that follow.  The more you give into lust, the more you want it, the more it controls you, and so the less you can resist it.  You cannot logically reason with your desires when your mind isn’t sober (intoxicated from being under the influence of your physical desires).  You cannot control your desires when they control you.

Lust: Desiring that which is impossible, unprofitable, or abominable.

Why is lust wrong?
1: Pointless
2: Insatiable
3: Suffering
4: Distraction
5: Defenseless

or P.I.S.D.D. (perhaps in order of severity)

 ————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Abstaining from entertaining your body’s natural sex drive seems unfair at times, especially because it’s like you have an “intense euphoria button” on your body right next to where your hand naturally lies, but you’re not supposed to press it.  It’s like taking someone whose favorite food is chocolate and putting a piece of it in their mouth and telling them not to eat it.

I used to think (as most men do) that living a lust-free life is not possible, it’s just part of a man’s daily life.  And I freely confess that I still struggle against my day dreams and wandering eyes (sometimes giving in), but I also confess that I know what it’s like to be broken free from the bondage of lust, and it’s so much better than any temporary ecstasy that has such addictive baggage.  I can only speak for myself, but in my own life, solely by God’s amazing grace, he chose at 3 different times to keep me from lust for over 6 months.  By that I’m not saying that I didn’t have sex, make out, look at porn, or masturbate in those allotments of time, what I’m saying is I never even entertained a lustful temptation in my head nor was I sexually stimulated once.  I could get into the specifics of this topic, but even in such a personal essay as this there are still some things too personal for the internet.  I’m hesitant to even share that lest I be judged as being prideful.  And actually it’s to my shame that I’m even astonished at those streaks, because I should be lust-free all the time, and also because it means I’m comparing myself to others.  But I share this for the sake of telling you firsthand from experience that, in a society where Christians don’t think it’s possible not to lust, it IS possible to live a life where you don’t give into lust.

I remember those days well when I was so consumed with lust that my eyes would glaze over and I couldn’t even see straight (literally/physically-speaking) and I’d almost get in car-wrecks my thoughts were so distractingly powerful and vivid.  But lust is an addiction, and just like any other addiction it needs to be fed more and more to get the same buzz until finally it’s so powerful that it rules you and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop.  I’ve been there and I’ve found that after many failed attempts to get rid of the addiction the only thing I can do is fall to my knees and cry, “God, be merciful to me a sinner.” That’s when God gives you just a spark of motivation to break free, and at that moment you have the choice of staying on that road of addiction (to whatever danger it leads) or turning around and starting on the road to freedom. However hard it is, it’s at least possible (whereas before it was impossible).  In that moment your choice will determine your future.  If you act on that little bit of motivation then more motivation will follow, which leads to more and more motivation, until finally you arrive at the place where resisting lust is natural and you don’t have to actively fight against it.  Lust is something you will be tempted by and must fight against every single day of your whole life, but you can get to a place (by God’s grace) where you genuinely don’t want it and constantly rejecting it is just another part of life.

Quicksand:

Lust reminds me of quicksand (though the analogy breaks down in many aspects).  You’re caught off guard by it, and give in just a little thinking it’s not a big deal, and then you give in again (more so than the first time), and ever so slowly you start sinking, getting deeper and deeper in it.  Where at first you have enough free will and control to choose to get out of it, eventually the fight to get out is too hard and exhausting.  Maybe one day you’ll be motivated to fight against it, and you’ll start breaking free, but the next day you’re too tired and sink back where you were before.  Then, realizing your dangerous situation, you’ll be motivated to fight it, but you can’t even make it a day now.  Finally you get to the point where you realize you are too far gone to get out now and just give up.  Still you are in greater pain now than you ever were before and want out, but realizing you can’t fight it any more, realizing your ultimate depravity, all you can do is cry out to God to save you.  It’s then when you give up that you start to float to the top.  God throws you down a rope that you can choose to grab on to, and while almost impossible at first (though not impossible), every small pull you take in the right direction is one easier step out, until it becomes easier and easier and finally, by the grace of God, you get to the top. However, on your way out if you stop climbing even once, you start to sink back down.  Even when you are at the top, as soon as you stop fighting you start gradually, ever so slowly, sinking back down again. I don’t think you ever get out completely in your whole life, but you can be on top where you aren’t sinking, fighting it is easier, and it’s tug on you is less powerful.

This analogy is the same for any form of addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, food, sexuality, etc.

Getting Past The Breakers:

From personal experience I found that once I reach my depravity (when I become a slave to lust) and cry out to God from the bottom, I wake up the next morning with a strange feeling of stability and an active desire to fight against lust.  While it is still at every corner, behind every thought, now I suddenly have the desire (and ability) to say “No!” and so begins the fight of not giving in to even one thought (lest I fall back to the bottom, as is the case with any addiction). The first day is the hardest, and then the second is a little easier, and the third easier still, until you’re ecstatic and begin to taste freedom.  Approximately a month down that road is the second biggest challenge, for this is when you start to say to yourself, “I’ve got it nipped in the bud.”  It’s then that your guard is down and that whole month’s worth of suppressed desires comes back in one last desperate attempt to reclaim you.  And since you let your guard down you don’t have the motivation/barriers needed to fight against it and you inevitably give into it that one time and BAM! you’re back on the bottom, depraved and enslaved again.
There have been so many times when I made it to that one month mark and started to entertain some pride (as if I had anything to with it) and then out of nowhere got ambushed by a temptation I couldn’t resist, and had no defense against its offense.
The keys to freedom are:
1.  Recognize that it is merely by God’s grace that you have the motivation to fight against lust (as if you could choose when to be motivated).
2.  Resist every single lustful thought, and even thoughts that are associated with/could become lustful thoughts.  Thinking about sex isn’t lust, desiring it is. But thinking about sex can easily present you with the thought of desiring it.  I’ve boiled it down as far as I can and realized that the road to sexual bondage begins the very first time you’re presented with a mental temptation, and you think “Yes” instead of “No.”  Basically, it’s the first time you desire it, saying, “I want it,” instead of “I don’t want it.”
3.  Curiosity = Lust.  Kill your curiosity and you kill lust.  “I’m not going to check her out, but I’m just curious to see what she is wearing.”  Or you think, “Is she really wearing that in church?” and your eyes go over and then the image is in your head. You need to get to the point where you don’t even look to see if that image in the corner of your eye (whether that be a real person or an internet ad) is an attractive female or not.

Yes, this means you might have to be a jerk at times.  I personally don’t even look at attractive women if I don’t have to, even if that means walking by one on the sidewalk and rudely checking my phone or looking the other way.  But better to be a jerk than a pervert, as I always say.  I personally try to stay away from women in general as much as I can, unfortunately that isn’t an option for many men, and you have to be around temptation in your life.  So your struggle is probably greater than my own.  But I do still have to go to church once a week, and I wish I could say that church is a safe haven from temptation, but unfortunately it’s the opposite.  I find that that’s the time I’m most tempted all week (and often results in me stumbling later).  One thing’s for sure: there’s more cleavage in my church than in my office.  What are these girls thinking?  Who tries to be sexy at church?  How can they not realize they are causing other Christians to sin in the one place that should be a refuge from sin.

Sundry Advice:

Not to compare myself with others, but I assume I struggle with lust less than the majority of Christian males.  This is probably because my interaction with females is only a few times a week, if at all, and I don’t watch tv, movies, play video games, surf the web, watch random youtube videos or engage in other situations usually designed to stimulate one’s sexuality. And as ridiculous as it may sound, I think things like wearing boxers (as opposed to boxer-briefs) make it more likely for stimulation to occur.

I don’t know the science behind it, but I’d imagine that certain foods make your sex drive more active.  As well, I know from personal experience that if you are sleep deprived, your mind isn’t as alert and you are less likely to be on guard and remember how to combat temptations.

“Go to the Praying Mantis thou whoremonger and consider her ways!”

One more analogy from nature.  Consider the praying mantis.  After the male and female copulate it is customary for the female to… bite off the male’s head.  Hmmmmm.  What’s up with that, Darwin?  I wonder why the males go in for it, knowing that it will cost their lives.  Is it really worth it?  A few minutes of ecstasy for an eternity of not living anymore?  It seems so foolish and outrageous…until you consider that human males aren’t much different.  Consider the people involved in sexual promiscuity and homosexuality, even though they know it’s likely they’ll contract AIDS (which is arguably worse than getting your head bitten off).

If someone came up to you and said, “Come over here and be still while I stab you with this butcher knife,” no one would obey.  But if a supermodel came up to you and said, “Come over here and have sex with me… and then I’m going to stab you with a butcher knife,” you might at least think it over.  Why is that?  What is so powerful about this non-material thing that people would risk pain for it?  “Hmmmmm,” some might say.  “Is it just one stab?”  And honestly, as outlandish as it sounds, I wonder if some men are so lost in lust that they would actually do it.  Maybe they’d say, “I’ll get away before I get caught,” or maybe even, “I’ll heal.”  Still there are some sad souls who wouldn’t even think at all saying, “Oh well.  Whatever.”  Wake up!  You’re getting stabbed with a flippin’ butcher knife!  Look at the reality of the situation!

Likewise, though on a less extreme level, are the few exciting minutes of giving in to lust or porn or masturbation worth the ensuing misery of slavery that follows?
Giving In:

For me personally, the only unavoidable situation for lust (also where it’s most contagious) is the beach where I go for a week annually.  Often it has been my goal to go a whole week there lust-free, but it has yet to happen.  And many times the beach week has marked the end of one of my lust-free streaks. I recall one year where I was passionately motivated to remain free from lust, but after the first day of being in the sun with bikini girls all around (and remaining pure), all I could do was just lay in bed at night fighting the thoughts and I eventually just got tired and threw all conviction to the wind letting my eyes and mind go crazy that week.  However, that initial motivation for purity was bred out of recently breaking free from a cycle of lust, and unfortunately I wasn’t far along enough in my purity.  The barriers hadn’t had time to be fortified enough, and so my defenses were easier to break down.  Whereas if I’d gone a month or 2 without lusting, it would have been harder for me to go back to that lustful mindset, and taken more time to break down my defenses.

However, even when I wasn’t struggling with wandering eyes at the beach, I found that one of the biggest stumbling blocks is boredom.  After a day or 2 of swimming in the ocean and being in awe by it, it just gets boring.  When you have to choose between being pure and sitting around bored, or easily giving in to the orgasmic world all around you which is instantly exciting and euphoric, now that’s a tough one.

I’m pretty sure every time my lust-free-streak was broken it had nothing to do with media, but was a time when I was presented with a temptation in real life and thought to myself, “This is just too go to pass up.”  If you ever catch yourself thinking that then your are doomed.  Good bye freedom, hello months of miserable bondage.  Once you give in to look one time, your sex drive sparks and everything in you wants to grow that euphoria as much as it will go (if nothing else for curiosity’s sake), and once the image is in your head it doesn’t matter if she’s not even around anymore, she’s still there in your head tempting you.  And once the sex drive gets going, there’s no way to righteously satisfy that.

This usually entails me going about my daily, pure life and then suddenly seeing a random, gorgeous girl with a revealing top bend over right in front of me so I can see everything.  Then I have to force my eyes away, and then keep them away.  That’s tough.  That very situation is was what ended my streak on a mission trip I was on, and then another time at a bowling alley.  And the months that followed were months of slavery.

Fighting the thought before it’s in your head:

As soon as you start to think “What if…” you must recognize what’s coming and rebuke that thought.  This is very hard to do when lust is something your mind and heart are used to, but if you go several weeks or so of cutting out lust from your system, you’ll be amazed at how much control over your mind you suddenly have.  It’s amazing to find that you can actually tell when a lustful thought is coming before it even pops in your head.  It’s like your body detects some foreign feeling stirring that it’s not used to.  You can just feel it, and you have to fight it right then, before you visualize it/think about it, while it’s still just a feeling.  It’s like you can feel a thought forming, or leading to another thought, or you can feel your tendencies kicking in.  Sometimes you feel a tendency towards lust in a primal, physical desire form, or sometimes a tendency towards rebellion/breaking the rules/doing whatever you want/being wild. Sometimes you can feel a tendency towards thinking about something you’re not supposed to and then your mind races to think of something you consider taboo (once it realizes it’s trying to think of something considered forbidden it’s very hard to stop it from finding something forbidden, as your brain is designed to automatically connect the dots).  I find what helps is when I feel a sinful thought coming (before it’s even visualized) I close my eyes and focus on God, like I’m focusing my attention on another person, and dwell on the holy thought of him or ask him to rebuke this coming evil.  And still other times you can feel a tendency towards apathy (not being willing to fight whatever thought pops into your mind).  It’s those times of apathy when you are in trouble and you have to recognize your potential danger, and even though you aren’t feeling it with your heart (which is what makes it apathy), cry out for help to God with your mind (though there’s no heart behind your prayer).
I can’t speak for other addictions, but I assume the addiction of sexual lust sums up addiction/lust as a whole.  It’s easy to become indignant toward people who smoke/do drugs/drink/fornicate, etc.  But the truth is when you’re addicted you do not have the choice of “Am I going to do this or not?”  You just do it. There’s no reasoning behind it, no logic.  You’ll have spurts of motivation and conviction that make you realize what you’re doing is wrong and then you try to fight it.  You’re convinced by all the logic against it and say, “I refuse to do that again.  Now I’m going to start fighting it.”  Until 5 minutes later when the temptation inevitably pops into your head and you have no way to fight against it, so you give into it yet again.  It’s become a part of your life like eating or even breathing.  Even when you’re not actually engaged in the activity you’re addicted to you’re thinking about it.  All the day.  All the time.  It is pure misery. Torture.
It gets to the point where it doesn’t even bring you any buzz or relief, but you just have to do it to get it out of your system, so you can get back to living life with at least some normalcy and being able to focus on things other than the addiction for a while.  While I can’t speak for other addictions, I have experienced the addiction-to-freedom cycle of lust, and I assume that the same steps involved in breaking free from the addiction of lust are similar to breaking free from any other addiction (even anxiety, romance, etc.).

“Lust neutralizes your spiritual potential.”
Some advice, as was advised to me by one of my spiritual accountability partners: “Don’t set goals in being lust-free.  Focus on right now.”  Someone told me once he heard if you can go 21 days without giving into your addiction you’ll be broken free, and yet he could never make it to that.  But even if you make it past the breakers (as I mentioned previously about the first month of breaking free), all it takes is one day and you’re back to the very bottom.  Sometimes it’s more gradual than that, but all it takes is that one thought you subconsciously give in to because your defense was let down/worn down, and then from there on it’s harder to resist each thought after that.  Don’t say, “Oh, if I can only make it past the breakers of a month,” or “Let’s see how long this lust-free-streak can go.”  It’s not about going a long time without lust; it’s about fighting it moment by moment, day to day, so that it becomes just another daily discipline.

I find that whenever I start counting/trying to figure out how many days/months I’ve gone without it that I start to lose my endurance and motivation to fight anymore.  And of course I give in again, sometimes after months of being free.  Maybe embracing pride causes you to rest (letting your guard down) and psychologically relaxes your defenses to make you more apathetic, or maybe it’s just a rule God holds you to, “Pride comes before a fall.  God hates pride, so if you have pride, he will bring you down.”

The story that often comes to my mind, whenever I number “my” achievements, is when King David numbered the people in his kingdom (Israel).  Though he wasn’t doing anything that was obviously wrong or breaking some clear command, he was acting in pride, taking credit for something God did.  And God surprisingly took a great offense to it (and proceeded to slaughter thousands of random Israelites until he repented).  Then again pride is commonly regarded as the worst of all sins (because it puts us in God’s place), as was Lucifer’s sin that got him kicked out of Heaven and made him the prince of darkness, the personal symbol of Pride.

My Current Status:
As of right now, by God’s grace (and I say this cautiously lest I get smacked back down to addiction in order to humble my pride, as has happened before), I am not ruled by addiction.  Whenever I get to these times I think back to when I was living a life of bondage and some of the things I thought and did, and I’m appalled and can’t fathom how I could ever come to that place where I’m numbed to the point of justifying doing those things.  And I can’t imagine ever doing them again.  And yet inevitably I always fall back into it, and gradually as the addiction takes over more and more of me and becomes a regular part of my life for an extended period of time, then in those times of bondage I’ll think back to when I was free and it doesn’t seem real to me (just like when I was in freedom looking back on bondage that didn’t seem real), because I can’t imagine life being like that, being any other way than this.  And in both of those scenarios (freedom and bondage) I think to myself, this is the norm and accept it.

My current strategy for avoiding lust is to simply not think about sex or lust or how long my lust streak has been, etc.  Don’t even entertain anything that could be associated with lust, or give it the time of day.  When I drive down the road or check emails and see what looks like it could be a sexual ad I don’t even find out, but distract myself from it, scroll past it, squint my eyes and cover that part of the screen.  Some of you might think this post is excessive or over-hyped, but say what you want, one thing’s for sure: I’m living the sweet life of freedom from bondage.  And while this advice may be extreme (and not as applicable to men in a steady relationship), I think extreme measures need to be taken to break an addiction (though those same measures may not have to remain as extreme to maintain freedom after the addiction is initially broken).  But if taking ridiculous steps is what I need to do to remain free I’m more than happy to do it.  At least until the beach.  😉
Praying_Mantis_Sexual_Cannibalism_European-26