lust | Realizations

Crisis Philosophy October 28, 2014

Filed under: Christianity/Theology/Spirituality,The American Dream — milesprowers @ 11:24 am
Tags: chastity, childlikeness, Christianity, end slavery tn, God, hell, holocaust, ISIS, lust, Materialism, metaphor, nightmare, persecution, porn, Poverty, sacrifice, sex, slavery, The American Dream, trafficking, voice of the martyrs

[as originally typed up on my iphone from 4:30-6am, 101714, after waking from a nightmare, terrified by the disgusting abominations I saw and felt, as if they were really happening]

The disgusting, demonic nightmare:
The old, placid doctor talked to his assistant (a pretty, young blonde in a labcoat), as if another routine day on the job:
“Yes, my dear. We’re going to rape you and burn you and chop you up and freeze you.”
The young lady was standing very routinely, but with a sudden look of surprise and confusion. Then two men came up from behind and grabbed her, put her down on the ground, and put a large ice bag on her neck. She screamed as they started chopping her ankles with a butcher’s knife. But the scene cut right before the blade touched her flesh. And I thought, well that’s a relief the scene was cut, otherwise it would have been inappropriate.
Then I was on a bus and this same scene was playing as a movie on a screen. I was watching it again with the other people on the bus and when it got to the point of chopping her ankles I knew the camera would stop again just in time before the blade cut, otherwise it would have been inappropriate for a public place like that. But there was sitting in front of me a pretty young blonde, similar to the young nurse in the movie, and she turned her head away right before the chop, in horror, unable to watch anymore. Then the movie showed the nurse’s head on the ground next to the opaque freezer box which contained her chopped up body. And that’s when I woke up, full of terror and overcome with disgust at the darkness of that movie. And yet I already said in the dream that “at least it wasn’t inappropriate”, though that same “appropriate” movie caused the girl in front of me to turn in disgust, and was enough for me to wake me up in a terrified panic. What symbolism there is all throughout this dream!

And, as only a dream can do, my mind and heart were suddenly opened, and I could feel the fear and pain that blonde nurse experienced, and all my first world problems vanished. I realized that intense human suffering like that was going on right now in the world; it didn’t end with the Holocaust. And being in that fatal doctor’s office with that nurse, I felt her panicked desperation as she thought “Surely there is someone who can save me! Surely there is someone coming for me, or at least working or fighting to get here and rescue me!”

Then this dialog played in my mind while I was recovering from the dream.
Old European gentleman: “Oh come now. Eat. Drink! Be merry. There is much to do, but there is also a time to enjoy life!”
Neo: “No. You don’t get it. You don’t realize how evil evil is. If you did you wouldn’t be able to put that food down. You would be staying up all night thinking and working to save these innocent people right now. The hand is cancerous and its spreading faster than a venom, but because of the remaining good in it we ignore the bad for a little bit longer, hoping it will get better… Hoping until it’s too late.”
Gentleman: “You can’t just throw away the good with the bad, the baby with the bath water!”
Neo: “But I say, yes! Throw it out! Better to enter life with one hand than to burn in hell with both. The thing that’s keeping this kind of evil active is humanity’s existence. As long as we’re still around there will be immense suffering, because there will always be demons to put evil emotions and ideas in our hearts, and just enough lazy, complacent good people to keep the world good enough, and not altogether bad enough to cut off. Good enough people are the problem. It’s the hardworking man in Iowa who works an honest job and comes back to a wholesome meal with his family and settles in for a night in front of the tv. This is the problem. This is what’s allowing more time for the evil in the world to go on betraying and cheating and lying and piercing and burning. This is what’s keeping the stew just lukewarm enough to not be thrown out. Oh, you don’t understand the evil that exists!”

God, destroy this Sodom even though there be 10 righteous in it!

I think about the horrible, utterly disgusting depravity of this world with its inhuman media, making movies like Human Centipede. Not only are people given opportunities and incentives to let their minds wander to such dark corners, inspired by the dark boundaries surpassed by those before them, but then they invest time and money to not only make their evil imaginations visible, but to put them in other people’s heads, into the minds of people that might not ever think of these evil things otherwise. Such is the cancer of pornography and MTV and Hollywood, who makes inescapable commercials that are literally filled with the same scenes that made movies in the 60’s rates R, and in the 50’s rated X. And yet most Americans think this is … Wait for it… GOOD!!! We have been so numbed to the evils of pornography that we have also been numbed to the good of innocence and virginity. Numbed to how good it is seeing a young woman as a soul, created in the image of God, and the beautiful work of art she is within, and thus is our desire to protect her from pain and devaluing numbed. The hardworking family man in Iowa is doing nothing to stop this genocide, but instead embraces it, even if only subtly, and subjects his family to it as acceptable prime time tv! He is the problem. He is in the way of justice and mercy. He is no better than the passive Germans who kept living everyday life when there was a concentration camp in their backyard. Oh that you were hot or cold, holy or evil, but you are lukewarm, and even though you are not altogether bad you will be thrown out, and cause the rest of us to be thrown out with you.

When we were children our eyes were still open to see the gravity of evil and it could make us vomit, but today we have been so numbed to how great this evil is, that instead of vomiting out the poison we laugh at it, ingest it, spread it, and it kills us all. America could very well be the most wicked nation on Earth, for we are a Great Whore seeking out nations to invite to drink our cup of adultery, and so make them guilty also. And as if our rated R movies and pornography and sex slavery wasn’t bad enough, what’s even worse than all of that is that we stamp “In God We Trust” on it. I assure you God doesn’t take that blasphemy lightly.

Right now, somewhere in the world, someone is being tortured just as bad as the horrors of the Nazis and their Holocaust. Like what’s going on in Iraq at the hands of ISIS right now.
If I live a good, comfortable life but someone else is living in Hell as we speak, then may both our lives be snuffed if it stops their suffering; for pain is more tangible than joy. Until then let us fight this horror with whatever time and energy we have left.
I pray God would have mercy on us, as in the days of Noah, and wipe us all out for the sake of the suffering that we have allowed to become this unimaginably horrible. I don’t care about justice, all I care about is ending the pain. With people going through this kind of intense pain right now, how can we do anything but be constantly working to rescue them? I mean, we’re in a state of emergency crisis! Put on hold your job, your marriage, your parenthood! Don’t you dare waste any more time on entertainment and recreation when you could always be doing something to help in the fight against the suffering of the innocent. I know you’d wish people would give up entertainment to fight for you if you were in that kind of pain. If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.
Better to err on the side of righteousness and holiness than on the side of blasphemy, apathy, laziness, lust, and violence.

———————–

The next morning I knew I had to do something. And while I’m limited at helping to fight the genocide of ISIS (you can support Voice of the Martyrs as they are actively helping those victims), I knew that there were plenty of horrors happening in my own backyard, and so I signed up to volunteer myself (not just my money) with End Slavery TN. Even if all I can help with right now is sorting papers or doing data entry or writing essays, I’m at least part of the solution to bring relief to the suffering. Even if I can do nothing more than menial tasks right now, so that more active people in the organization aren’t tied down doing them, then I will allow more time/energy/attention to be directed to help the suffering. In whatever we do, we need to live like we’re really in a state of emergency crisis, because we are.

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Cave of Lusts/Entrance to Paradise December 9, 2012

Filed under: Christianity/Theology/Spirituality,The American Dream — milesprowers @ 12:10 am
Tags: c.s. lewis, depravity, heaven, hell, lust, metaphor, parable, Salvation, story, The Gospel, the great divorce, Theology/Christianity/Spirituality

[written on 112812, with additions on 12812, Jeremiah 9:23-24, Revelation 7: 14b-17]

There is a cave that leads to Paradise. 7 men went in, hoping to come out on the other side.

One man, a coward, left the cave soon after entering, too paralyzed by his worries of the unknown to continue.

In the cave, the 6 found an abundance of the rarest mushroom delicacies in the world, and one man couldn’t help but start eating them. Upon gorging himself, he grew an unnatural smile and sank to the floor, as the mushrooms had intoxicated him. As the 5 moved through the cave they came to a wall with a small opening at the bottom. If they were to continue they would be forced to crawl under it to get to the other side. Unfortunately, the fat man was too dazed at that point to continue with them. The group tried pulling him under the wall with them, but he just couldn’t fit and had to be left behind, though they doubted how much further he would have made it even if he could have fit. But he told them he’d meet up with them in Paradise (though he acted like he was in paradise right now) after he slimmed down in size (as he popped another mushroom in).

Once the 5 all made it under the wall, they found themselves in a tunnel, with what sounded like flirtatious giggling echoing in the distance. They followed the tunnel towards the noises and turned around a corner to find a band of extremely attractive, nude women. The 5 moved awkwardly through their midst, trying to ignore eye contact. But one man couldn’t help at least looking. He caught eyes with one of them, and soon after was in conversation with her. The tunnel opened up into a large cavern, but the lecher stayed behind, already being caressed by the women, saying that he would follow them shortly.

The 4 saw the flickering of light bouncing off the cave ceilings up ahead and entered into an elaborate treasure room. After being amazed by the vast treasure, the group continued, coming to a small ledge that they had to climb over. But one man shouted “Paradise indeed!” and, finding a treasure chest, filled it with as much gold as he could and planned to follow them out the other side. However, the rich man could barely drag his heavy chest, and certainly couldn’t lift it over the wall. They figured he’d figure out the futility of his plight and soon follow them. He never did.

It looked like whoever had owned the treasure room also had an armor room. The 3 stepped into a room lined with great, metal armor and powerful weapons. They thought this would prepare them for whatever lay ahead in the other rooms, so they suited up and grabbed one big weapon each. However, the only exit they could find was a small, dimly-lit hole towards the top of the far wall. As they tried climbing the wall, they soon realized how difficult it was to climb with all of their heavy accessories. 2 men, giving up on trying to juggle the weapons in their hand while climbing, threw them to the ground and were able to climb much easier after that. However, once they reached the hole, they couldn’t fit through with their armor and were forced to jettison it. Meanwhile the strong man below was still struggling to even climb on the wall, not willing to give up his means of power.

The 2 fell with a crash down into another room, much lower than the previous one had been, and were bruised. After a few minutes of recovering, they noticed a hole in the ground. While light made their current room at least dimly visible, this hole below was pitch black. As the one man sat on the edge preparing to climb down, the other man blasted him. “What! Are you crazy? You saw how far that last drop was, and that was through a dimly-lit hole. This hole has no light at all!” “Well, it’s our only shot of reaching Paradise.” “Well, who really said this cave leads to Paradise in the first place? I’m starting to think it was all made up.” “Believe what you want; I’m going for it.” “You fool!” said the smart man. “It’s common science that if there’s no light then there’s no other exit down there! You’ll fall to your death or get stuck with no one to save you! This was fun and all, but it’s time to go back. Was the life we had so bad anyways? Not even paradise is worth this.”
“Say what you will. I’d rather die trying to get to Paradise than be stuck in the Hell we were in before.”

With that, the last man slipped into the black, bracing himself for whatever lay below. In the darkness he hit a rock which rolled him into another rock which rolled him into another rock and there he lay, in the darkness, in the silence. After coming to, and somewhat in pain from the fall, he balanced himself to his feet. There was darkness all around him as he felt around the cavern room for anything. He thought that maybe the 2nd man had been right. Then his eye caught a tiny beam of light coming out of a small hole in the wall, only the size of a needle’s eye. The light danced around with wild colors, and as he pressed his eye up to the hole he could see glimpses of Paradise on the other side — green pastures and still waters — accompanied by cheerful voices and laughter. Prying himself away from the hole and its bliss, he began frantically feeling the wall for a door or some kind of exit, as if his separation from Paradise had set him on fire. He felt nothing. The room around the hole was completely bare, with no ledge or anything to climb on. With fury did he pound his fists at the hole, trying to break it open to the other side. Futile. Finally, he dropped back into the darkness to his knees, helpless. There in the dark silence he could hear weeping and gnashing of teeth from his former companions in the previous chambers above, held in bondage by their lusts.

Yet here was this righteous man, who forsook all those temptations in pursuit of God and still couldn’t make it. He was no better off than they. In his depravity, the self-righteous man cried out, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”

Suddenly there was a crash, and the needle-sized hole broke open, filling the room with phantasmagoric light. Another crash against the wall and the hole opened more. Then, with a 3rd crash, a sheep from the pasture burst through the rock, bruised and bloody from the struggle, and collapsed, dead at his feet.

It would be the easiest door he’d gone through of the hole experience. But it was even easier than that. He didn’t even get the chance to step forward before he was escorted out by a shepherd from the other side. He had seen the sheep rush over, hearing the man’s crying from within the cave. But the shepherd was content to have this new man take its place in his flock, saying to him, “I will guide you to springs of the water of life: and God will wipe every tear from your eyes.”

Which part of the cave are you stuck in?

Living Sacrifices: Celibacy, pt. 1 – Paul’s Reasons for Celibacy/Marriage? November 9, 2011

Filed under: Celibacy,The American Dream — milesprowers @ 10:07 pm
Tags: abstinence, Celibacy, chastity, lust, missions, monk, persecution, The American Dream

THE LOGIC BEHIND CELIBACY

*My main goal behind writing a persuasive argument in favor of celibacy is most pointedly (and most realistically) to simply open the average Christian’s mind to the option of celibacy for their consideration. And by using the 2 things we already trust in (divine revelation and logic) to support that option I hope to prove that it’s actually not radical or weird. Not to brainwash you with propaganda so as to join my ranks, but to show you what the Bible has clearly stated about it for 2000 years. Not to encourage you to join some kind of faith-based cult by tugging on your hearts, but to let you see that celibacy in general resonates with our innate sense of logic, so as to seem even more logical than marriage.*

Persecution
I’ve heard it argued that Paul was specifically talking about his era when referring to staying single because of how extreme the “present distress” was (1 Cor 7:26). But at the time Paul wrote that the persecution hadn’t even reached the peak it would in later years. And if he referred to the future, then was he only referring to until the 4th century when Christianity stopped being persecuted in the Roman Empire? Is that when Christians started marrying suddenly? So now that we’re not living in “present distress” in our country is it suddenly okay to live carefree lives, marrying and living comfortably in our pursuit of happiness like in the Old Covenant? Those early centuries of persecution were no doubt terrible, but were they anymore extreme than the persecution still going on right now in the world?

I wonder if the fact that we’re not personally being persecuted means we’re not living like we’re supposed to. How can we justify living a life of leisure when our brothers in the world are STILL living in persecution like the early church? Shouldn’t we forsake the excess resources which afford us a luxurious lifestyle to turn our lives and resources toward the alleviation of current persecution? If we did this we would feel the effects of persecution personally.

But really what does persecution have to do with celibacy anyways? I suppose it’s because a wife could do more harm than good in a persecution-inclined culture where your responsibility as a husband could collide with your responsibility to the ministry– as portrayed in the following joke:

What do you call a missionary’s wife in the 10/40 window? A bargaining chip.

My point is just that the logic behind celibacy goes far beyond persecution. Are the people right now who are being persecuted like the early church called to celibacy more than we? No, I think the point of Paul advocating celibacy is because the end is near. We don’t know when it is and so we need to live as if the end is tomorrow. And if the world’s ending tomorrow why would we get married, and especially have kids? Is that what Jesus advised us to do? No, just the opposite! He actually spoke woes to them that do, as he said in Matt. 24:19: “But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!” He doesn’t encourage people to keep living life like it’s always been, but instead to stop and prepare for the end. “Yeah, but people have thought it’s the end for thousands of years.” Wow, do you so quickly take the side of those “mockers in the last days” who say “Where is this second coming?” It’s that conviction of the end being nigh which continues to push the gospel ever forward despite the dangers. Without that we wouldn’t have even gotten this far.

For “…they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be.” –Matthew 24:38-39

Lack of Self-Control
Personally speaking, most of the time I don’t struggle with lust and romantic longing, but occasionally I do. And in those times I‘m shaken to my core, to the point I would consider throwing away all my commitments, calling, and logic for companionship. For what’s the point of celibacy if you’re too depressed to be productive–which was the whole point of being celibate? Those times when I have given in to romance are easily the worst parts of my whole life; nearly all the valleys in my life’s vicissitudes are the direct result of romantic deprivation. But it’s important to note that these valleys almost exclusively come after being around women which arouse a desire in me which I don’t want to fulfill. It’s not being by myself that makes me lonely; it’s the angst of being without something I suddenly desire that so greatly depresses me. I think if I were distanced from women (and romantic allurement) and had friends/family with me to keep me from loneliness (through accountability/fellowship) I would still struggle just like everybody does (priests, monks, apostles), but not enough to consider marriage as my calling.

You may think, “If he were really called to celibacy then he wouldn’t struggle with it.” But doesn’t everybody struggle with it? Isn’t that the way we were originally designed so as to populate the Earth? All I know is if the Bible says Jesus was tempted in every way then surely he was tempted by the most tempting of human desires (romance and sex). And if Jesus was tempted, of course a mere mortal like Paul would be, too. I don’t see why Paul’s thorn in the flesh wouldn’t have been something like the temptation of those intense romantic or sexual passions he fought against yet still couldn’t shake. I know during my past (and current) crushes I’ve begged God more than 3 times to take it away (to no avail I might add). And yet Paul’s own romantic and sexual temptations weren’t enough to persuade him toward advocating marriage; it was in spite of them that he encouraged celibacy. Paul and the prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 16) are the only people in Scripture I can think of whose call to celibacy was clearly, biblically-ordained, and yet if even Paul (the main advocate of celibacy) struggled against those temptations then why wouldn’t we also (who would be blessed to become even half of what Paul was)? The struggle isn’t a clear indicator of your calling.

Is molestation at the hands of priests a sign that God never intended people to be celibate? I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a sign that we weren’t intended to make vows of lifelong celibacy. Because it would have been better for those men to have been married all along than to be set apart to God only to end up burning with passion anyway and that passion being forced to manifest itself through a perverted outlet. I think it’s these situations Paul is referring to in 1 Corinthians 7:9 which justify marriage.

You get the impression from reading that passage that the only thing Paul considers worthy to justify a marriage is lack of self-control (as if you would inevitably sin more without marriage to legalize your lustful thoughts and actions). But is he justifying the lack of self control itself? Isn’t this just a cop-out for sin?
“I have the choice between surrendering every area of my life to Christ’s discipline or giving in to my lust by justifying it with marriage?… That’s a no-brainer!”
That’s kind of like justifying your gambling problem because you donate the money you get to missions. You don’t do anything to fix your self-control problem, but just get married only to find out later that your burning passions are too large to be righteously satisfied in marriage, and now you’re tempted by sins worse than the fornication you were tempted with before marriage. Marriage won’t cure a lustful heart.

I used to think (as most men do) that living a lust-free life is not possible, it’s just part of a man’s daily life. And I freely confess that I still struggle against my day dreams and wandering eyes (sometimes giving in), but I also confess that I know what it’s like to be broken free from the bondage of lust, and it’s so much better than any temporary ecstasy that has such addictive baggage. I can only speak for myself, but God in his amazing grace allows me to break free from lust and then sustains me for extended periods of time (see my essay, “How To Overcome Lust“). In those anti-lust streaks I don’t mean that I simply refrained from having sex or making out or looking at porn or masturbating, what I mean is I never even entertained a lustful temptation in my head! I’m hesitant to even share that lest I be judged as being prideful, or lest people say “That’s a clear sign you’re called to celibacy; as for me I could never do that so I must not be.” But I share that for the sake of telling you firsthand from experience that, in a society where Christians don’t really think it’s possible not to lust, it IS possible, and I don’t think escaping the sin of lust should be anyone’s determining reason for getting married. Sex will fade, and then what’s left in your marriage if that’s the main thing that brought you two together?

Lust is what keeps us on the same level as animals, and keeps us from being on the same level as angels.

And so people say, well, I struggle with lust so I must be called to marriage. But Paul’s not saying marriage is for people who simply struggle with lust, but rather people who can’t control themselves enough to not have sex and commit fornication. It’s better to be married than to sin by having sex outside of marriage. This justification is for the people who know their extreme tendencies and are smart enough to recognize their weaknesses and beat them to it. Though I think a sex-based marriage will always be less successful than a ministry-based marriage of people who developed self-control before getting married.

How To Overcome Lust November 8, 2011

Filed under: Celibacy — milesprowers @ 10:37 am
Tags: abstinence, ascetism, Celibacy, chastity, lust, porn, sex

[Written especially on 8178, 62511, 112311 as stemming from Living Sacrifices: Celibacy, pt. 1, and finishing additions on 224-2513]

*DISCLAIMER: The following essay is a completely honest look at how lust operates and how to overcome it, thus awkward, graphic, personal details are mentioned in exchange for helping people to break free. It is written with an audience of single men in mind. I guess I picked now to finish this essay because I happen to be going through a lust-free time of my life and I feel less hypocritical posting it.*

Definition of lust: An extreme, excessive, indulgent desire for something.

My definition of lust: desiring that which you should not, will not, or cannot have.

Why is lust wrong?

1st because it makes you to suffer, as you are in agony desiring something which you cannot, or will not, or should not have. Lust is similar to coveting and both are wrong for the same reasons.
2nd because it distracts you, divides your mind so that you can’t focus on God, life, etc. It divides/distracts your heart so that you don’t have as much passion to do the things you are supposed to do, because you have passion for something else besides your calling (what you’re supposed to be doing) also. Divided passions. So that when you do what you’re called to do, your heart isn’t completely in it to make the best product, your mind isn’t completely in it to make it the best product (through analyzing how to make it really best). You have 2 passions: one is fulfilled partially by completing a watered-down version of your calling; and the other one (the lust) isn’t fulfilled at all. So what’s the point?
3rd because it’s pointless. You desire something you cannot have so you never get it, you just waste your time and passion wanting it for the sake of wanting it. There’s no point in entertaining your desires for something if you will not or should not ever get it. Why not desire something you can have now and work to get it so that your desire is satisfied? Think about something that will produce something to benefit God and others.
4th because it cannot be satisfied. Lust is desiring something you cannot have. So if you desire the unattainable your desire will never be satisfied because it will never be attained. The more you think about it, the more you will want it and the more you will think about it. The more you entertain it, the more you think about it and want it, so that it’s all the harder to suppress, all the harder to break free from, all the harder to regain complete focus (possibly ever again) or any focus at all. All the harder to fulfill your calling as best you can, if at all.
5th because it makes you defenseless to temptation. Desiring evil makes you more likely to actually do the evil which you desire, and if you do ever get what you desire, then you screwed up and have sinned. Because the only reason what you’re doing is considered lust is because you are desiring something you should not (whether it is impossible, unprofitable, or abominable). No one desires something simply for desiring it and then leaves it alone. If I entertain fantasies of lust in my mind, that same state of mind exists in the real world so that my eyes look the same places they do in my mind, when given the opportunities to. And if my desires make me, in my thoughts, do things I shouldn’t, when Evil presents those opportunities in reality I will be all the more likely to give in to those same temptations I already gave into in my mind. I’m at least more likely than if I already resisted those temptations in my mind and have set my mind against entertaining those thoughts and the actions that follow. The more you give into lust, the more you want it, the more it controls you, and so the less you can resist it. You cannot logically reason with your desires when your mind isn’t sober (intoxicated from being under the influence of your physical desires). You cannot control your desires when they control you.

Lust: Desiring that which is impossible, unprofitable, or abominable.

Why is lust wrong?
1: Pointless
2: Insatiable
3: Suffering
4: Distraction
5: Defenseless

or P.I.S.D.D. (perhaps in order of severity)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Abstaining from entertaining your body’s natural sex drive seems unfair at times, especially because it’s like you have an “intense euphoria button” on your body right next to where your hand naturally lies, but you’re not supposed to press it. It’s like taking someone whose favorite food is chocolate and putting a piece of it in their mouth and telling them not to eat it.

I used to think (as most men do) that living a lust-free life is not possible, it’s just part of a man’s daily life. And I freely confess that I still struggle against my day dreams and wandering eyes (sometimes giving in), but I also confess that I know what it’s like to be broken free from the bondage of lust, and it’s so much better than any temporary ecstasy that has such addictive baggage. I can only speak for myself, but in my own life, solely by God’s amazing grace, he chose at 3 different times to keep me from lust for over 6 months. By that I’m not saying that I didn’t have sex, make out, look at porn, or masturbate in those allotments of time, what I’m saying is I never even entertained a lustful temptation in my head nor was I sexually stimulated once. I could get into the specifics of this topic, but even in such a personal essay as this there are still some things too personal for the internet. I’m hesitant to even share that lest I be judged as being prideful. And actually it’s to my shame that I’m even astonished at those streaks, because I should be lust-free all the time, and also because it means I’m comparing myself to others. But I share this for the sake of telling you firsthand from experience that, in a society where Christians don’t think it’s possible not to lust, it IS possible to live a life where you don’t give into lust.

I remember those days well when I was so consumed with lust that my eyes would glaze over and I couldn’t even see straight (literally/physically-speaking) and I’d almost get in car-wrecks my thoughts were so distractingly powerful and vivid. But lust is an addiction, and just like any other addiction it needs to be fed more and more to get the same buzz until finally it’s so powerful that it rules you and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop. I’ve been there and I’ve found that after many failed attempts to get rid of the addiction the only thing I can do is fall to my knees and cry, “God, be merciful to me a sinner.” That’s when God gives you just a spark of motivation to break free, and at that moment you have the choice of staying on that road of addiction (to whatever danger it leads) or turning around and starting on the road to freedom. However hard it is, it’s at least possible (whereas before it was impossible). In that moment your choice will determine your future. If you act on that little bit of motivation then more motivation will follow, which leads to more and more motivation, until finally you arrive at the place where resisting lust is natural and you don’t have to actively fight against it. Lust is something you will be tempted by and must fight against every single day of your whole life, but you can get to a place (by God’s grace) where you genuinely don’t want it and constantly rejecting it is just another part of life.

Quicksand:

Lust reminds me of quicksand (though the analogy breaks down in many aspects). You’re caught off guard by it, and give in just a little thinking it’s not a big deal, and then you give in again (more so than the first time), and ever so slowly you start sinking, getting deeper and deeper in it. Where at first you have enough free will and control to choose to get out of it, eventually the fight to get out is too hard and exhausting. Maybe one day you’ll be motivated to fight against it, and you’ll start breaking free, but the next day you’re too tired and sink back where you were before. Then, realizing your dangerous situation, you’ll be motivated to fight it, but you can’t even make it a day now. Finally you get to the point where you realize you are too far gone to get out now and just give up. Still you are in greater pain now than you ever were before and want out, but realizing you can’t fight it any more, realizing your ultimate depravity, all you can do is cry out to God to save you. It’s then when you give up that you start to float to the top. God throws you down a rope that you can choose to grab on to, and while almost impossible at first (though not impossible), every small pull you take in the right direction is one easier step out, until it becomes easier and easier and finally, by the grace of God, you get to the top. However, on your way out if you stop climbing even once, you start to sink back down. Even when you are at the top, as soon as you stop fighting you start gradually, ever so slowly, sinking back down again. I don’t think you ever get out completely in your whole life, but you can be on top where you aren’t sinking, fighting it is easier, and it’s tug on you is less powerful.

This analogy is the same for any form of addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, food, sexuality, etc.

Getting Past The Breakers:

From personal experience I found that once I reach my depravity (when I become a slave to lust) and cry out to God from the bottom, I wake up the next morning with a strange feeling of stability and an active desire to fight against lust. While it is still at every corner, behind every thought, now I suddenly have the desire (and ability) to say “No!” and so begins the fight of not giving in to even one thought (lest I fall back to the bottom, as is the case with any addiction). The first day is the hardest, and then the second is a little easier, and the third easier still, until you’re ecstatic and begin to taste freedom. Approximately a month down that road is the second biggest challenge, for this is when you start to say to yourself, “I’ve got it nipped in the bud.” It’s then that your guard is down and that whole month’s worth of suppressed desires comes back in one last desperate attempt to reclaim you. And since you let your guard down you don’t have the motivation/barriers needed to fight against it and you inevitably give into it that one time and BAM! you’re back on the bottom, depraved and enslaved again.
There have been so many times when I made it to that one month mark and started to entertain some pride (as if I had anything to with it) and then out of nowhere got ambushed by a temptation I couldn’t resist, and had no defense against its offense.
The keys to freedom are:
1. Recognize that it is merely by God’s grace that you have the motivation to fight against lust (as if you could choose when to be motivated).
2. Resist every single lustful thought, and even thoughts that are associated with/could become lustful thoughts. Thinking about sex isn’t lust, desiring it is. But thinking about sex can easily present you with the thought of desiring it. I’ve boiled it down as far as I can and realized that the road to sexual bondage begins the very first time you’re presented with a mental temptation, and you think “Yes” instead of “No.” Basically, it’s the first time you desire it, saying, “I want it,” instead of “I don’t want it.”
3. Curiosity = Lust. Kill your curiosity and you kill lust. “I’m not going to check her out, but I’m just curious to see what she is wearing.” Or you think, “Is she really wearing that in church?” and your eyes go over and then the image is in your head. You need to get to the point where you don’t even look to see if that image in the corner of your eye (whether that be a real person or an internet ad) is an attractive female or not.

Yes, this means you might have to be a jerk at times. I personally don’t even look at attractive women if I don’t have to, even if that means walking by one on the sidewalk and rudely checking my phone or looking the other way. But better to be a jerk than a pervert, as I always say. I personally try to stay away from women in general as much as I can, unfortunately that isn’t an option for many men, and you have to be around temptation in your life. So your struggle is probably greater than my own. But I do still have to go to church once a week, and I wish I could say that church is a safe haven from temptation, but unfortunately it’s the opposite. I find that that’s the time I’m most tempted all week (and often results in me stumbling later). One thing’s for sure: there’s more cleavage in my church than in my office. What are these girls thinking? Who tries to be sexy at church? How can they not realize they are causing other Christians to sin in the one place that should be a refuge from sin.

Sundry Advice:

Not to compare myself with others, but I assume I struggle with lust less than the majority of Christian males. This is probably because my interaction with females is only a few times a week, if at all, and I don’t watch tv, movies, play video games, surf the web, watch random youtube videos or engage in other situations usually designed to stimulate one’s sexuality. And as ridiculous as it may sound, I think things like wearing boxers (as opposed to boxer-briefs) make it more likely for stimulation to occur.

I don’t know the science behind it, but I’d imagine that certain foods make your sex drive more active. As well, I know from personal experience that if you are sleep deprived, your mind isn’t as alert and you are less likely to be on guard and remember how to combat temptations.

“Go to the Praying Mantis thou whoremonger and consider her ways!”

One more analogy from nature. Consider the praying mantis. After the male and female copulate it is customary for the female to… bite off the male’s head. Hmmmmm. What’s up with that, Darwin? I wonder why the males go in for it, knowing that it will cost their lives. Is it really worth it? A few minutes of ecstasy for an eternity of not living anymore? It seems so foolish and outrageous…until you consider that human males aren’t much different. Consider the people involved in sexual promiscuity and homosexuality, even though they know it’s likely they’ll contract AIDS (which is arguably worse than getting your head bitten off).

If someone came up to you and said, “Come over here and be still while I stab you with this butcher knife,” no one would obey. But if a supermodel came up to you and said, “Come over here and have sex with me… and then I’m going to stab you with a butcher knife,” you might at least think it over. Why is that? What is so powerful about this non-material thing that people would risk pain for it? “Hmmmmm,” some might say. “Is it just one stab?” And honestly, as outlandish as it sounds, I wonder if some men are so lost in lust that they would actually do it. Maybe they’d say, “I’ll get away before I get caught,” or maybe even, “I’ll heal.” Still there are some sad souls who wouldn’t even think at all saying, “Oh well. Whatever.” Wake up! You’re getting stabbed with a flippin’ butcher knife! Look at the reality of the situation!

Likewise, though on a less extreme level, are the few exciting minutes of giving in to lust or porn or masturbation worth the ensuing misery of slavery that follows?
Giving In:

For me personally, the only unavoidable situation for lust (also where it’s most contagious) is the beach where I go for a week annually. Often it has been my goal to go a whole week there lust-free, but it has yet to happen. And many times the beach week has marked the end of one of my lust-free streaks. I recall one year where I was passionately motivated to remain free from lust, but after the first day of being in the sun with bikini girls all around (and remaining pure), all I could do was just lay in bed at night fighting the thoughts and I eventually just got tired and threw all conviction to the wind letting my eyes and mind go crazy that week. However, that initial motivation for purity was bred out of recently breaking free from a cycle of lust, and unfortunately I wasn’t far along enough in my purity. The barriers hadn’t had time to be fortified enough, and so my defenses were easier to break down. Whereas if I’d gone a month or 2 without lusting, it would have been harder for me to go back to that lustful mindset, and taken more time to break down my defenses.

However, even when I wasn’t struggling with wandering eyes at the beach, I found that one of the biggest stumbling blocks is boredom. After a day or 2 of swimming in the ocean and being in awe by it, it just gets boring. When you have to choose between being pure and sitting around bored, or easily giving in to the orgasmic world all around you which is instantly exciting and euphoric, now that’s a tough one.

I’m pretty sure every time my lust-free-streak was broken it had nothing to do with media, but was a time when I was presented with a temptation in real life and thought to myself, “This is just too go to pass up.” If you ever catch yourself thinking that then your are doomed. Good bye freedom, hello months of miserable bondage. Once you give in to look one time, your sex drive sparks and everything in you wants to grow that euphoria as much as it will go (if nothing else for curiosity’s sake), and once the image is in your head it doesn’t matter if she’s not even around anymore, she’s still there in your head tempting you. And once the sex drive gets going, there’s no way to righteously satisfy that.

This usually entails me going about my daily, pure life and then suddenly seeing a random, gorgeous girl with a revealing top bend over right in front of me so I can see everything. Then I have to force my eyes away, and then keep them away. That’s tough. That very situation is was what ended my streak on a mission trip I was on, and then another time at a bowling alley. And the months that followed were months of slavery.

Fighting the thought before it’s in your head:

As soon as you start to think “What if…” you must recognize what’s coming and rebuke that thought. This is very hard to do when lust is something your mind and heart are used to, but if you go several weeks or so of cutting out lust from your system, you’ll be amazed at how much control over your mind you suddenly have. It’s amazing to find that you can actually tell when a lustful thought is coming before it even pops in your head. It’s like your body detects some foreign feeling stirring that it’s not used to. You can just feel it, and you have to fight it right then, before you visualize it/think about it, while it’s still just a feeling. It’s like you can feel a thought forming, or leading to another thought, or you can feel your tendencies kicking in. Sometimes you feel a tendency towards lust in a primal, physical desire form, or sometimes a tendency towards rebellion/breaking the rules/doing whatever you want/being wild. Sometimes you can feel a tendency towards thinking about something you’re not supposed to and then your mind races to think of something you consider taboo (once it realizes it’s trying to think of something considered forbidden it’s very hard to stop it from finding something forbidden, as your brain is designed to automatically connect the dots). I find what helps is when I feel a sinful thought coming (before it’s even visualized) I close my eyes and focus on God, like I’m focusing my attention on another person, and dwell on the holy thought of him or ask him to rebuke this coming evil. And still other times you can feel a tendency towards apathy (not being willing to fight whatever thought pops into your mind). It’s those times of apathy when you are in trouble and you have to recognize your potential danger, and even though you aren’t feeling it with your heart (which is what makes it apathy), cry out for help to God with your mind (though there’s no heart behind your prayer).
I can’t speak for other addictions, but I assume the addiction of sexual lust sums up addiction/lust as a whole. It’s easy to become indignant toward people who smoke/do drugs/drink/fornicate, etc. But the truth is when you’re addicted you do not have the choice of “Am I going to do this or not?” You just do it. There’s no reasoning behind it, no logic. You’ll have spurts of motivation and conviction that make you realize what you’re doing is wrong and then you try to fight it. You’re convinced by all the logic against it and say, “I refuse to do that again. Now I’m going to start fighting it.” Until 5 minutes later when the temptation inevitably pops into your head and you have no way to fight against it, so you give into it yet again. It’s become a part of your life like eating or even breathing. Even when you’re not actually engaged in the activity you’re addicted to you’re thinking about it. All the day. All the time. It is pure misery. Torture.
It gets to the point where it doesn’t even bring you any buzz or relief, but you just have to do it to get it out of your system, so you can get back to living life with at least some normalcy and being able to focus on things other than the addiction for a while. While I can’t speak for other addictions, I have experienced the addiction-to-freedom cycle of lust, and I assume that the same steps involved in breaking free from the addiction of lust are similar to breaking free from any other addiction (even anxiety, romance, etc.).

“Lust neutralizes your spiritual potential.”
Some advice, as was advised to me by one of my spiritual accountability partners: “Don’t set goals in being lust-free. Focus on right now.” Someone told me once he heard if you can go 21 days without giving into your addiction you’ll be broken free, and yet he could never make it to that. But even if you make it past the breakers (as I mentioned previously about the first month of breaking free), all it takes is one day and you’re back to the very bottom. Sometimes it’s more gradual than that, but all it takes is that one thought you subconsciously give in to because your defense was let down/worn down, and then from there on it’s harder to resist each thought after that. Don’t say, “Oh, if I can only make it past the breakers of a month,” or “Let’s see how long this lust-free-streak can go.” It’s not about going a long time without lust; it’s about fighting it moment by moment, day to day, so that it becomes just another daily discipline.

I find that whenever I start counting/trying to figure out how many days/months I’ve gone without it that I start to lose my endurance and motivation to fight anymore. And of course I give in again, sometimes after months of being free. Maybe embracing pride causes you to rest (letting your guard down) and psychologically relaxes your defenses to make you more apathetic, or maybe it’s just a rule God holds you to, “Pride comes before a fall. God hates pride, so if you have pride, he will bring you down.”

The story that often comes to my mind, whenever I number “my” achievements, is when King David numbered the people in his kingdom (Israel). Though he wasn’t doing anything that was obviously wrong or breaking some clear command, he was acting in pride, taking credit for something God did. And God surprisingly took a great offense to it (and proceeded to slaughter thousands of random Israelites until he repented). Then again pride is commonly regarded as the worst of all sins (because it puts us in God’s place), as was Lucifer’s sin that got him kicked out of Heaven and made him the prince of darkness, the personal symbol of Pride.

My Current Status:
As of right now, by God’s grace (and I say this cautiously lest I get smacked back down to addiction in order to humble my pride, as has happened before), I am not ruled by addiction. Whenever I get to these times I think back to when I was living a life of bondage and some of the things I thought and did, and I’m appalled and can’t fathom how I could ever come to that place where I’m numbed to the point of justifying doing those things. And I can’t imagine ever doing them again. And yet inevitably I always fall back into it, and gradually as the addiction takes over more and more of me and becomes a regular part of my life for an extended period of time, then in those times of bondage I’ll think back to when I was free and it doesn’t seem real to me (just like when I was in freedom looking back on bondage that didn’t seem real), because I can’t imagine life being like that, being any other way than this. And in both of those scenarios (freedom and bondage) I think to myself, this is the norm and accept it.

My current strategy for avoiding lust is to simply not think about sex or lust or how long my lust streak has been, etc. Don’t even entertain anything that could be associated with lust, or give it the time of day. When I drive down the road or check emails and see what looks like it could be a sexual ad I don’t even find out, but distract myself from it, scroll past it, squint my eyes and cover that part of the screen. Some of you might think this post is excessive or over-hyped, but say what you want, one thing’s for sure: I’m living the sweet life of freedom from bondage. And while this advice may be extreme (and not as applicable to men in a steady relationship), I think extreme measures need to be taken to break an addiction (though those same measures may not have to remain as extreme to maintain freedom after the addiction is initially broken). But if taking ridiculous steps is what I need to do to remain free I’m more than happy to do it. At least until the beach. 😉