Realizations

What do you call Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man?
Superheroes.
What makes someone a Superhero?
Because they all have a super power. Superman can fly, Spider-Man can do whatever a spider can: climb up walls, above-average agility, and spider sense. These are their superpowers. What is Batman’s superpower? Intelligence? Innovation? As my batmanologist friend pointed out, his super power is his extra-human, uncanny amount of willpower.

Oh, how excited we get over tales of superheroes suddenly discovering they have some special ability. Because there’s something in us that would LOVE to have that level of significance, to stand out in society, to do something as exciting and adventurous as using an extra-human ability like flying. We love to see those superheroes go all out in using their special talent to the best of their ability, and for the greater good, even if it means sacrificing their careers, money, relationships, reputation, and sometimes their very lives. It’s what makes them heroes. And also what keeps them from being labeled supervillains, ie, those who use their super powers/special talents in a selfish way. But there’s also a barrier between us and them, us and superheroes. We secretly wish we could fly, or that we were the kid who is surprised to find out he is the Chosen One, but we know that will never happen, that it’s impossible. So we just leave that excitement as imagination and eventually move on to everyday life, with that yearning unfulfilled.

But Batman removes that barrier from us. Batman doesn’t have some super power that the average person can never have. Batman shows us that any one of us can be a superhero. What an EXCITING and equally terrifying revelation that is!!!  How many of us have an inner-longing to be a superhero, but also, secretly, cling to that barrier, resting in the impossibility of us having that kind of responsibility?

But for those of us who want it, want to be a superhero, I have good news for you. It’s there, just waiting for you to take it. How many other people in the world have an uncanny amount of will power, the same amount that made Batman one of the most famous superheroes ever?  Or what about the people who have an above average intelligence or wisdom or innovation or creativity? Couldn’t they become superheroes just as well as Bruce Wayne?

Look at the superheroes who don’t wear masks and capes: Mother Teresa, Tony Robbins, Billy Graham, Paul McCartney. People who became internationally-recognized for a unique gift or an uncanny amount of it. They each have their super power that made them a superhero.  Mother Teresa (sacrificial servitude), Tony Robbins (positive communication of psychological improvement), Billy Graham (powerful oration and conviction), Paul McCartney (ability to come up with catchy melodies). All of these people were given super powers, super powers that had to be awakened and cultivated to their peaks. But just having a super power isn’t what made them superheroes. Peter Parker could have climbed up buildings all day and never have become Spider-Man, never transitioned to being a superhero. It’s when a person chooses to take their super power, this special thing that other people don’t have, to do what other people can’t do, and contribute that unique thing to mankind for the greater good of the world. 

Oh, how our imagination longs for reality in the tale of the boy discovering his super power. How exciting!  But how infinitely more exciting is it to realize that all of us are that boy! All of us have that superpower that no one else has, if we could only realize it, as the superheroes before us have. And how exciting once we ourselves start doing the very things superheroes do in the comics: using that sure-fire super power as often as we can for the greater good. What an exciting, adventure of a lifetime this will be!

I believe every single person on Earth has a super power. Some have already realized it. Some are using it to its maximum potential already, while others are still trying to figure it out and cultivate it, like Jean Grey of X-men. Every single person has at least one thing they are potentially better at than anyone else they know, one specific thing they can contribute to humanity better than anyone they know. Because every single person is a unique combination of nature and nurture. It’s just science. No two people will have the same strengths and weaknesses in the same way, or the same combination of different strengths. When this unique combination of strengths is combined, it becomes a greater, more specific, focused strength than the original strengths divided.

Like my batmanologist friend; he is better at martial arts than anyone else I know (my sphere of influence being around 300 people), but he surely isn’t the best at martial arts of anyone HE knows. So in my sphere he has a super power, but in his sphere he might not see it as such. Though at our church, our mutual sphere, among those people he might stand out as having a super power in this area. So he has the potential of becoming like a superhero in that setting. But ALSO he’s more nurturing and empathetic than any other man I know, though he might not be the most empathetic man HE knows. But combine both of these unique traits/talents (martial arts and empathy) and it’s very rare that in either of our spheres there is one person with both those super powers. How do these 2 powerful traits (seemingly at odds) which are unique to him combine in a way that is even more unique and focused into a greater strength than the powers divided? However powerful he already is with his two super powers, when he figures out how to combine them into one greater, more unique, more laser-focused super power he’ll be even MORE unique and powerful. Like on a global level. All his nature and nurture focuses into one point: his Super Power, the Pinnacle, the Summum Bonum.

Uniqueness is what makes a super power super. Superman wouldn’t be a superhero on Krypton, but he is one on Earth, because no one else can fly. Batman is a superhero because he applies the abilities common to man in a way that is uncommon to man. If you can see a way that your Super Power can contribute to society, then there is a need for you to use it to do so.

This makes life more exciting doesn’t it?  When you realize you are special. And that uniqueness is a great strength. Something so great it can be, and rightfully SHOULD be, seen as a super power. And if you did see it as a super power then maybe you would see yourself as a superhero, just as much as Batman. And if you started treating yourself as a superhero with a super power, then maybe you would feel the gravity of your responsibility to help the world in a way no one else can, and aspire to the same standards as Batman or Tony Robbins. 

“With great power comes great responsibility.” – Uncle Ben, Spider-Man’s hero

If I had a super power like flying, you better believe I would use that super power every chance I got. And I would be 100% confident that every time I step off a building I could use it.  How fun to use your gift, but even better, how fulfilling it is to use it for a greater purpose beyond yourself. With great power comes great responsibility, but having that responsibility is more fun and rewarding than not having it. 

Just like Superman, who knows full well that every time he jumps off a building he can fly, every time I have applied my superpowers they have super results. How exciting and comforting it is to know in full, 100% confidence that I have a talent which is sure to have super results every single time I use it. Even if your talent isn’t one that you can see instant results from with your eyes, you know for a fact that the people around you notice it and are impacted by your talent and the results are growing in them.

What extraordinary ability do I have that the majority of people I know don’t exhibit?
What things do I do which almost always have a powerful, sure-fire effect and positive result?
What thing in my life do I constantly get positive feedback on from people?
What ability might be locked away in me somewhere just waiting to be opened and cultivated into an extraordinary ability, a super power?
What different strengths do I have which might be combined into a single, greater power?
And what is your superhero name?  Spider-Man? Pheonix? Neo? Air Jordan? milesprowers?

Superman: flight, speed, strength
Spider-Man: spider sense, agility, wall-climbing
Batman: willpower, intelligence, innovation, mechanically-inclined
[your super hero name here]: [your super power here]

Zen Christianity vs. Common Sense Christianity

6-9-16- Tonight I realized my phone was about to die so I got up to get the charger, and when I arose from my seat I was suddenly surprised by my perspective of the room. For some reason, I felt taller than usual, and looked around the room realizing how tall I was, and what it’s like to see things as an adult. I looked down at my feet to make sure nothing was out of place. Then, somehow while I was standing there, I felt compelled to close my eyes and have a heartfelt prayer, standing under my blowing ceiling fan with the light coming down on me. It was a moving prayer time and I felt love for God which compelled me to sit down in quiet, humble submission before the King. As I sat there, I genuinely felt a strong feeling of worship and love for Jesus, and then I felt Him there in the room before me, more so than I have all year. With His presence so clear before me, I talked to Him as if He were really there in the room with me — talking to God in bodily (though resurrected) form, aka the Word, who was with the Father in the beginning, and was the creative agent of planet Earth.

Recently, I’ve been going through a spiritual paradigm shift, forsaking the Zen Mystic Christianity tendencies I’ve had for the last several years (that is, clearing my mind and listening for the Spirit, which trumps all logic and whatever I previously believed) for a more practical, commonsense, logical, self-focused approach to Christianity — the kind of Christianity that uses our bodies and intellect and logic that God gave us, combined with the truth that mankind has learned in its history, to analyze ourselves and determine what is the best logical way that we can advance the cause of Christ (within the boundaries of the truth of the Bible).

However, because my Zen Christian approach was so engrained into my psyche (and reinforced by many of my Christian peers who are convinced it is the highest, purest approach), I couldn’t feel totally at peace that I was doing the right thing by focusing more on what I think makes sense instead of opening my mind for whatever leading I feel. So naturally, part of me was feeling guilty that I was putting God on the back burner, and instead trusting in man. So when this surprise feeling of intimacy with Jesus Himself came up randomly out of nowhere, I rolled with it, desiring to see where it would lead and if I could confirm it was the best approach, once and for all.

It lead to this: I thanked Jesus (in front of me) for dying for me and loving me. I told Him I loved Him and would do anything for Him, trusting that He loves me and would give me whatever I need to be obedient to Him. I said, “I love you, Jesus,” and I felt a strong impression that He was saying back to me, “Do you love Me?”
I said genuinely from the heart, “Jesus, You KNOW I love You,” and He said, “Then feed my sheep.”
Then while thinking about how I might do that, something instantly flashed in my mind. It was the concert that I had marked in my calendar tonight to go see — a local band whose music is really good, but has a dark, weird, possibly satanic influence. I was invited and had planned to go, but canceled my plans when a previously-scheduled Skype meeting with two close friends fell into place tonight. I had dismissed the concert plans, knowing my night would be filled. But now, so strong was this impression that this was Jesus’ sign of how to feed his sheep (based on me, my giftings, and my sphere of influence as a musician) that it ended the conversation and experience, and I was left with a clear resolve that this was what I was supposed to do.

I thought, “Wow, I haven’t felt such a strong, clear impression from the Spirit like this in a long time,” and I thought maybe it was too late to still catch the concert — but that was just me trying to get out of doing it. The band I knew was the last one playing, and I discovered it was only 9:30. Since that was even more time than I thought I had, that settled it for me. I felt guilty for how my spiritual approach had shifted recently — putting God on the back burner, distancing myself from Him as I tried using my own intellect to determine how best to serve Him. But now I was back to where I was supposed to be, back to being open and led by the Spirit, and it felt amazing to be back and so connected with God again. With a strong resolve and as clear an indication from the Spirit as ever, I determined to follow through with it. I said, “You know what? I’m just going to try this out and test if this is really Jesus leading. This will settle the score once and for all between Zen Christianity and Common Sense Christianity. If there was ever a leading from the Spirit, it would be this — with this strong presence, and my feeling of the Spirit’s leading. This will show me once and for all how I can distinguish between mere emotional impulses and the Spirit, if God uses me tonight.” I truly believed that it was the Spirit and that I was about to experience something supernatural.

I was feeling tired and didn’t want to go out, as late as it was. But I knew God would show up, so I drank a 5-hour ENERGY to wake me up for whatever was in store for the long night to come. Then, filled with faith, I stepped out onto the waves — following Jesus’ calling, feeling great about this like I was finally giving up my doubts and hesitancies to live the Spirit-led life of a Christian.

With excitement and expectation, I went to where the address on Facebook said to go. I found a parking spot and then walked around trying to find the location, expecting supernatural signs and encounters to guide me there. It turned out to be an apartment building, and I thought skeptically, “There’s going to be a heavy grunge show in an apartment?” But, in faith, I walked into the building. No one in sight, so I searched around. I went up the second floor and walked past the apartment doors, quietly, so as to listen for the distant sounds of grunge. Nothing. I went up the third, then fourth, then fifth floors. Nothing. I came back down, quietly listening, and after 30 minutes of searching, with nowhere else to look, I got back in my car and drove home. On my way home I thought, “Okay, so maybe Jesus’ plan for me wasn’t at the show but maybe the whole point of that was to get me out of the house for a certain reason.”  So I pulled over to a gas station, looked around to see anything in particular. Nothing abnormal. No leadings. So I drove home cautiously, and pulled up to the house looking around. There was no one on the street to talk to. Nothing. So I went inside, took a shower, and went to bed, confused and dismayed.

What happened?

Two Options:

1. Somehow my complicated mind had produced a hallucination, and conjured up a tangible feeling inside of Jesus’ presence and voice.
2. I really did have an encounter initiated by God, but it was His way of showing me that I should stop looking for some spontaneous, mystical experience to determine my decision-making, and instead use my God-given intellect in response to God’s definite, clear voice in the Bible.

Even now while writing this I find it hard to believe that my experience was a mere hallucination, as real as it seemed. It seemed very clear and tangible, as tangible as I would expect it to feel to St. Paul. And, it was just as tangible as times in the past when I felt something similar when it seemed that God DID do something supernatural following an experience that confirmed it actually was from God. But for now, in conclusion to my inner-wrestling of the best approach to Christianity (Zen Christianity vs. Common Sense Christianity), and true to what I said was at stake when I gave Zen Christianity one final, earnest shot tonight, I have finally come to a firm resolution:

I haven’t yet figured out a way to determine what is the Spirit’s voice and what is simply an emotional impulse concocted mysteriously by my unfathomably complicated brain. I know that the Bible talks about the Spirit speaking to the early Christians, forbidding them to go certain places in their journey, etc., but I haven’t figured out what that actually feels like, so all I have to go by is my intellect (what makes the most sense for how best to serve God), so I’m going to go by that and use it to the best of my ability until God, in His supernatural providence, changes my mind. And this had already been my conclusion before this spontaneous change of plans. I realized I just wasted an hour that, up until the point of this spiritual detour, I had planned to be spending on seriously and strategically thinking of steps I can take to overcome my greatest weakness of being a people-pleaser and the fear of rejection.

Let me make myself perfectly clear, I think that every finite human should pray and meditate every single day, asking the infinite, omniscient God to show him His will or any error in his short-sighted thinking. I’m just saying whatever pops into your head should be tested by your own intellect, and a funny feeling shouldn’t trump everything else you’re doing and everything you think to be true. In my case, a funny feeling distracted me from sitting down and getting serious about overcoming my great sin of people-pleasing, and instead of going to bed at a healthy hour and getting rest for my body, I drank a 5-hour ENERGY in misguided faith.

God is greatly using me in my life right now, supernaturally using me to help people come closer to Him, blessing my attempts to serve Him and do His will. However, none of it is the result of me clearing out my mind and waiting for some image or impulse to pop into my mind, or what people associate with “listening to the Spirit.” I’m just doing what makes sense to me based on what the Bible says I should do. And, for maybe the first time ever, I’m trying to bring my personal potential to its pinnacle, so as to serve God to the best of my personal ability. I have been focusing on physical means: strengthening my body; training my brain to be motivated; keeping optimistic, focused, and disciplined; and devising a strategy to best implement my talents in order to serve God maximally. This is the common sense approach to Christianity, as advocated by people like Tony Robbins (www.tonyrobbins.com or Day 1 of his Program), and I’m already seeing results, so I’ll see where this takes me.

Thank you, God, for using this experience to put to rest my inner-wrestling and conflicted convictions of what the best approach to the Christian life for me is. And, help me now to go to sleep after taking that unnecessary 5-hour ENERGY, because it’s 3AM and I don’t want to get sick…

About 4000 years ago there was a country called Canaan that was full of evil people who practiced perverted sexuality and even killed their children as a sacrifice to the gods. Finally their evil got so bad that the god Yahweh decided to destroy their entire civilization off the face of the earth. So he looked around for an army to destroy them and he found a large people group in Egypt who had been slaves to the Egyptians for hundreds of years. He thought he would do two great goods: administer justice on the evil people and at the same time free these poor, innocent slaves from their oppression. So Yahweh appeared to the slaves and cursed their Egyptian captors with plagues until their leaders let the slaves leave. He then led the slaves to Canaan and told them he would give them their land if they would utterly destroy everything living in the land: men, women, children, and animals. And so the slaves conquered the land with the help of Yahweh and dwelled freely. However, they didn’t destroy all people from the land as Yahweh commanded, but kept some alive. Thus for centuries in the midst of their freedom there was constant warring with the remnant of the original people still left in Canaan. Over time, the evil customs of the remaining Canaanite people gradually influenced the slaves until one day the slaves became just as evil as the evil people they had been told to destroy, and so Yahweh found another army to come into the land of Canaan and conquer the slaves just as he had first told the slaves to conquer the evil people of Canaan, and the slaves were taken from their free land and brought into another country to become slaves again.

That is the story of the Old Testament.

Hope.  I need hope, every single moment.  For to be hopeless is the worst torture possible.  Indeed hopelessness is Hell, and what makes Hell the worst torture.   But if I have hope, then I know that all pain is temporary, and torture is bearable.

I have hope.  Wow.  What statement could be more vulnerable than that?  I feel naked just saying it.  There is something inscrutably powerful there.  As if I just let go of all the circumstances, all logic, what seems realistic, and fell into the hands of God, at His mercy, hoping He’ll catch me, trusting those hands are loving.

It’s not “I hope He’ll catch me”; it’s “I have hope that He’ll catch me.”

[21314, written with left hand at Abbey of Gethsemani]

Symbolism:
Dreams show you the utter transparencies of your heart, make you watch how you would react to certain situations in real life. The scene I watched in private was disgusting enough in and of itself, but, since my heart and mind have become so numbed by the immoral norm of American entertainment, in normal life I would have thought that talking about raping, chopping, and burning an innocent young woman wasn’t inappropriate, nor even when they force her onto the ground showing what’s about to happen, that’s not inappropriate either. And not even when it’s in public, on a bus when people are forced to watch it, do I think it’s inappropriate. But the blonde girl in front of me obviously thought it was inappropriate. Perhaps she was especially offended, identifying with the blonde girl in the movie, putting herself in her shoes, feeling vulnerable and threatened.

“Why are you asking Me to give you trust in Me?  Do you trust Me?  

And why are you asking Me to give you love for Me?  Don’t you love Me?”